


Boom Goes the Canon

by Hatsonhamburgers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Porn, Blow Jobs, Bottom Gabriel, Drunk Texting, Episode: s05e08 Changing Channels, Episode: s05e19 Hammer of the Gods, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Mutual Pining, Orgy, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Sabriel_freeform, Season/Series 05 Spoilers, Sex Toys, Sexting, Smut, Texting, Top Sam, Topping from the Bottom, Wall Sex, Wings, interesting things with vegetables, mentions of Gadreel, prayer kink, some very light D/s, spoilers seasons 6-9, this started off so simple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-11 04:59:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7029760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatsonhamburgers/pseuds/Hatsonhamburgers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Gabriel feels extreme loss after the timeline was corrected.  Sam's memory is gone, so Gabe has to face the emotional residue from Sam and Gabe's intense brief connection alone. He tries to move on, but is drawn back to the hunter, unable to quell his desire.  </p>
<p>Spoilers for season 5- Changing Channels and Hammer of the Gods</p>
<p>A companion piece for Dead Roses.  It can be read alone, but makes more sense if the first fic is read.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part 2 of the <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Dead_Roses">Dead Roses Verse</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The Archangel Gabriel was about as fucking miserable as he had ever been. And that said a lot. He had survived a couple of thousand years on earth, posing as a human and a demi-god, so he believed he had experienced the full range of human emotions and had mastered control over them. 

But this hole he could physically feel in his gut was completely new. It had taken him a few weeks of rather unfulfilling sex and candy, alternating and at the same time, to figure out what it was he was feeling. He had conjured up numerous women, men, and a few pagan gods to try and sate his overwhelming need, but nothing would fill the void. He even considered tracking down his old girlfriend, Kali, but it was more trouble than it was worth. He knew he had hit a low point if he was thinking about calling her. They had parted on the worst of terms, and he was 90% sure she would kill him on sight. The remaining 10% chance at reconciliation was tempting, but he somehow knew it would never be enough. 

Parting ways with his Father had been painful. Chuck had returned the other archangels to Heaven and Luci and Gabe back to earth. He had told his son that he wanted him to be happy, but warned that trapping Sam and making him Gabe’s personal sex slave would go against the whole system of free will, so he had to wait for Sam to come to him. Gabe had rolled his eyes and groaned, denying that he was thinking of doing that, but Chuck had laughed and given him a knowing look. Gabriel had sighed, acknowledging that the separation from his Dad again would suck, but he’d be able to survive the few years it would take before He was to reveal himself to the world. It was Sam that was causing him all this pain. 

On a whim, Gabriel had found the Winchester brothers almost immediately following the readjustment of the timeline just to see him one more time. Dean was waiting on a frontage road for his brother to show. Gabe stood, unseen, at the top of the hill, waiting as well. He wasn’t expecting it to hurt so much.

When the ugly gold Lincoln pulled up, Gabe had to fight the desire to fly into the car, stop time and touch Sam. just once. Just to hold his hand and sit, memorizing the lines on his palm and the creases of his knuckles. He wanted to brush Sam’s hair away from his face, run his fingers through his silky locks and grab the back of his head and pull him into a desperate kiss-

Which would probably be a bad idea. So he remained at the top of the hill and watched the love of his extremely long life swing a leg out of the car and stand, all 20 feet of him, and saunter nervously over to his older brother. They were together again, and Gabe knew it was for the best to let him be, but seeing him did nothing to quell the cold burn of the gaping hole in his gut, the empty vacuum that he could only fill with a giant tree of a man with goddamn puppy eyes and shampoo commercial tresses. 

So Gabriel did what he always did, and returned to the familiar life of decadence, knowing full well that after the conversation in Sam’s head about his feelings for the hunter, he would never be happy. Not really. The best he could hope for, really, was for the fucking world to go ahead and fucking end. With a little push, the brothers would finally see why it was the better option; paradise and eternity as opposed to the stench of evil the world had never seemed to shake. 

Then it would be done and maybe he could have Sam finally. Maybe they could carve out their own corner of Heaven and spend eternity together. The only hangup was that he would possibly have to retrieve Sam from Lucifer, but hell, if he did it once, he could probably do it again.  
All he had to do was set the stage and the boys would come running. It had to be perfect. Something equally violent and whimsical. Something irresistible to Dean, since it seemed the less attractive Winchester was the one running the show. 

He chose a nowhere town in Something-or-other, Ohio, to set up shop. Popping up in a hotel room and making himself comfortable (which included bringing his jack russell, whom he had renamed Sam), he started scanning local police reports for someone to fuck with who deserved it. He checked the domestic disturbance reports first; that was always chock full of douchebags just waiting to be served some just deserts. 

He hit the jackpot pretty quickly. He found a man who was a walking bag of dicks with “anger issues,” which really meant he was the embodiment of all that was wrong with American society. They try and help the perpetrator of violence by putting him in therapy, while the victim is waiting unprotected for him to get home from court-mandated anger management classes and beat her all over again. It was a broken system and Gabe had absolutely no qualms in delivering his style of justice, via some extremely creative ironic punishment. The death had to be really unusual to draw the Winchesters out, and he had just the plan. The television playing in the motel room gave him an idea. 

 

********

 

Gabriel pulled his hair in frustration. How was he supposed to know that Dean would be such a huge fangirl over Dr. Sexy, MD? It didn’t ruin his plan, he just needed to kick it up a notch. He could say that he didn’t delight in the idea of shooting Dean in the back, but then his pants would be on fire. Putting Sammy in the role of hero surgeon was perfect, his doctor costume doing things to make Gabe’s pants a little tight. But in a moment of weakness, disguised as Dr. Ellen Piccolo, he had stood outside the operating room and tearfully confessed his love (totally meant to be a joke), and Sam had looked at him in disdain. Gabe knew he was really looking at the Dr. from the show, but all it did was stir up the feelings of loneliness and anger. He deserved better than this. He shouldn’t have to plan a ruse just to be near Sam, he should just get to have what he wanted. 

Of course he was completely justified in hitting Sammy in the nuts. It was no coincidence he brought up Ruby. That bitch had put her demon stink on him, corrupting his beautiful Sammy and pushed him into starting the whole apocalypse. He would never admit that he was simply jealous of her, even now that she was dead. He had an irrational fear that somehow she would just pop back up and take Sam away from him. He loved Sammy in a way that the demon wasn’t even capable of. She had manipulated him and fed his demon nature, and Gabe had to watch as Sam was haunted by his choices. Like leaving Dean to go be on his own. 

Everything Gabe ever did was on purpose, including certain herpes-related commercials. He hoped Sam would understand that he needed to be cured and cleaned of that fucking demon’s influence. She had destroyed his self-confidence and self worth, and that angered Gabriel more than anything because it tortured Sam night and day. Gabriel had seen into Sam’s nightmares and saw his guilt over all who had and would die over his mistakes. 

Though everything was going perfectly, the two idiots still weren’t getting the full picture. He ended up having to jump in when his pesky little brother somehow managed to break out of the bonds he had placed him in when he showed up on the game show set. Castiel _should not_ have been able to do that, so it had taken him by surprise. He was planning all along to let the boys in on the secret, but he ended up having to do it before he got to talk to Sammy in private. Dammit Cas had bad timing. Not only that, but Cas had seen him and Gabe knew his cover was blown. He had been staying away from that nerd for his own protection, seeing as Castiel didn’t remember their escapades in the alternate timeline. 

Dean had pushed his buttons, talking about his brothers like that. The nerve! He didn’t know them like Gabe did, he had no right to talk shit. Fucker.

But the game went on. What seemed like hours to the boys was several days in real time. Gabriel could hit pause whenever he wanted, which he did frequently, if just to sit and gaze into Sam’s unknowing eyes. He felt a little like a creeper, but hell, it was so natural since he had been checking in on the kid since his birth and subsequent demon blood infecting. He doubted he would ever tell him this- it was just too personal. It was admitting something out of Gabe’s own heart, and he was never going to allow himself to ever be that vulnerable to anyone, which was actually the reason he and Kali had broken up several times. He had it hidden in his secret heart, in a place that he was having an unusually hard time concealing from himself recently. Kali had complained that he never took her seriously, and had voiced her outrage and accused him of cheating on her- which was hilarious considering all the orgies they had been to together. But she knew he had hidden something, or someone, from her. And he denied it and covered it with humor. She wasn’t so stupid as to fall for it, and that had been the end of that. Honestly, Sam had been ruining his life for sometime now. 

The College pranks, the Mystery Spot, and now TV land, all were just to be near Sam. It was stupid, really. And his own fault. If he had just kept his damn mouth shut (literally and figuratively), he wouldn’t have had the door to his secret heart wrenched open and now he was raw and emotional and completely out of control. Shit, he couldn’t even keep Castiel, a Seraph, in a trap for very long. His concentration was out the window. He had to act soon, or he might never get his chance again. 

Even though it didn’t kill him, it still hurt like a bitch to be stabbed through the back with a large as fuck wooden stick. Probably what hurt more was the fact that Sammy did it. Gabe was kicking himself for shooting Dean in the back, because this did actually even the scales a bit, and who was he complain? Evening the scales was kinda his thing.

It was time for a chat. Gabe snapped his fingers, freezing time, and stood up, pulling the stake from his chest. He winced and waited for the open wound in his chest to close. _Motherfucking symbolic,_ Gabe thought, _I don’t have time for this meta bullshit._ He smirked as the hole closed, and cleaned his clothes up. He had a passing impulse to put a suit on to impress Sam a little, but decided against it because it might make him seem to come off desperate. Even though he _was_ desperate. Like, really desperate.

He stood facing the young hunter, breathed out, trying and failing to calm his nerves and snapped his fingers. Sam jerked back when he saw Gabe standing. He looked frightened. Sam looked wildly around for a weapon, and caught sight of Dean’s frozen form. He seemed to forget about Gabe for a moment as he went to his brother’s side and waved his hand in front of Dean’s face.

“What did you do to Dean?” Sam shouted.

“Nothing, kiddo,” Gabriel responded, “he’s fine. I just wanted to have a little um, chat?”

The end of the sentence came out as a question, causing the angel to cringe. Sam cocked his head slightly, regarding Gabe with suspicion. 

“Why…” Sam kept himself in a fighting stance. Gabe tried to keep his usual smirk on his face, but he was tired. Tired of the the game, tired of waiting. He sighed and dropped his smile. Sam’s brows shot up.

Gabe rubbed his forehead and spoke to the ground. “I...uh...needed to tell you something,” Gabe said, cursing himself for not being able to access his normal bravado. 

Sam seemed taken aback by this extreme change in demeanor. He took a couple of steps closer, seeming to forget himself and give into his natural urge to comfort and soothe. Warmth bloomed inside Gabe, right in that gaping hole that needed it. He gasped slightly and his eyes briefly widened at the sensation before lowering them back to the ground. The hunter waited for Gabriel to finish his sentence, but he was met with silence.

Sam cleared his throat, causing Gabriel to look up. The hunter seemed embarrassed, and thrown off his game. He seemed to consider his words carefully before he spoke.

“I was- I mean, _we_ were wondering if you, I mean if you had time, or whatever, you could- only if you wanted to, of course,” Sam floundered, “maybe help us _not_ start the apocalypse? I know what you said back there, and everything, but nothing is really carved in stone, is it?” Sam regarded Gabriel with the biggest puppy eyes he had ever seen. It was really tempting to just go for it and vow to do just about anything when Sam looked at him like that, but they were veering in a direction Gabe wasn’t going for. He shook his head as if to clear it, and bit back his smile. He steeled himself and stepped closer to Sam, closing the distance to about 4 feet. He could feel the warmth stronger here and did his best not to look directly at Sam’s soul, lest he give everything away. 

“Not a chance, Sammy boy,” Gabe replied, “I’m not taking sides in this one, I’m just going to sit back and watch the world burn. And you guys should do the same.” He shot an exaggerated impression of Sam’s patented puppy eyed look, causing Sam to huff out a laugh, which seemed to take him by surprise. 

Sam pursed his lips and blinked. “Why would you want to do that, I mean,” Sam said, “don’t you like the human race, lots of people to run around handing out just desserts to?”

Gabriel smiled wistfully. So that was what this was about. If only it were as simple as him being the Trickster and living the lavish life he had carved out for himself. He considered spilling his guts completely and telling Sam all about how unfulfilled he was with everything and everyone except Sam, how he didn’t see the point of the universe if he couldn’t have Sam, that Sam was the reason he had done all this, the only thing that mattered. 

But, blessedly, for once, he kept his mouth shut, memory flashing on Sam giving him CPR atop the Sears Tower and Gabe slipping him the tongue. If it were only that easy.

Sam waited for a response, but there was none. He ran his hand through his hair and glanced over at Dean. “Can I ask you something?” he asked, looking nervously down into Gabe’s eyes (somehow he had moved even closer to the hunter). Gabe nodded.  
“Who are you?” Sam asked, slightly wincing, maybe expecting an attack like the one in the sit com with Dean. “I mean, we know you as the Trickster, but I get the feeling it’s not just that. You keep showing up. You keep trying to teach us something, but why? Why do you even care, really? Who are we to you?” Sam stepped closer, closing the distance, their toes almost touching. “Who am I to you?” he whispered.

Gabriel’s stomach dropped out, he sucked in a breath. Sam knew. He knew something and Gabe had lost control of the situation. His eyes flicked from Sam’s eyes to his lips, the movement not going unnoticed by the hunter. Sam dipped his head and hovered his lips over Gabe’s and the angel panicked. He snapped his fingers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel get a case of the "fuck its"

Sam felt odd. More than odd, really. Dean was talking nearby, saying his name. Sam called out to him. “Dean?”

“Sam? Where are you?” Dean sounded off, somehow. Like his voice was coming from inside Sam’s head. 

“I don’t know,” responded Sam.

It took him a few minutes to figure out where he was, correction: _what_ he was. He could’ve been wrong, but… Yep he was a car. Dean’s car to be exact. 

Sam grimaced and feigned surprise. “Oh crap. I don’t think we killed the Trickster.” 

That’s what he got for putting the moves on another supernatural being. If Dean knew how he tried to elicit the Trickster’s help, he would totally flip. Dean wasn’t exactly on board with the idea to begin with, and this new development was not going to go over well. 

The _Knight Rider_ theme blared through his sound system as he and Dean barreled down the road. Sam had a theory or two about the Trickster, but he needed input from his brother. It didn’t take them long to conclude that the being they knew as the Trickster was likely to be an angel. They devised a plan to try and trap him- simple really, holy oil and one of the million Zippo lighters rattling around Sam’s floorboards. 

Dean rummaged through the items in the trunk, organizing by habit, not liking any of their equipment to be out of place. Sam was feeling awkward as it was, but this was over the line.  
“Dean?” Sam asked.  
Dean popped his head out and looked around, seeming to not know how to address Sam. “What?” he winced.  
“That, uh, feels really uncomfortable,” Sam said, causing an eye roll from his brother.  
Dean slammed the trunk shut with a bit more force than usual.   
“Ow,” complained Sam, “You sure this is gonna work?”  
“No, but I have no other ideas.” Dean went and stood at the front of the car and shouted at the sky.  
“All right, you son of a bitch! Uncle! We'll do it!”  
“Should I honk?” Sam asked sincerely, feeling pretty useless at the moment.  
The Trickster seemed to appear from nowhere, and without his usual fanfare. Sam could immediately sense some extra tension. He prayed to God that he kept his mouth shut about their earlier exchange. The guy had looked terrified when Sam leaned in, which was a strange turn of events- considering how powerful a being he was.   
“Wow. Sam. Get a load of the rims on you,” the Trickster said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.  
Sam exhaled in relief. Humor it was, then.   
“Eat me,” Sam said flatly.  
The Trickster twitched a small smile but ignored the quip.  
“Okay, boys. Ready to go quietly?” he asked, clapping his hands together, rubbing them briskly.  
Dean stepped forward holding his hands out in a placating gesture.  
“Whoa whoa whoa, not so fast. Nobody's going anywhere until Sam has opposable thumbs.”  
The Trickster snorted derisively and barely glanced at Sam. “What's the difference? Satan's going to ride his ass one way or another.”  
Dean glowered at him until he rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. The air shifted around Sam and he found himself in the Impala’s back seat. He opened the door, completely confused as to why the Trickster didn’t use Sam’s ploy against him and tell Dean. So much didn’t make sense.  
“Happy?” the Trickster said, with a smirk directed at Dean.  
Dean sidestepped, allowing Sam to stand beside him.  
“Tell me one thing. Why didn't the stake kill you?” Dean asked.  
“I am the Trickster,” came the bored reply.  
Dean returned the smirk. “Or maybe you're not.”  
Sam had managed to stay out of the being’s line of sight, giving him ample time to light a zippo, holding it out for the Trickster to see before dropping it on the ground. A ring of fire sprang up around the Trickster.  
“Maybe you've always been an angel,” Dean said.   
The Trickster looked incredulous, then laughed as if the idea was ridiculous. Sam could see a flash of the panic from earlier in his eyes.  
He recovered quickly. “A what? Somebody slip a mickey in your power shake, kid?”  
Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and posed casually. “I'll tell you what. You just jump out of the holy fire and we'll call it our mistake.”  
The carefully crafted amused face slipped off of the Trickster and was replaced with a cross between anger, remorse, and fear. He knew he was caught.  
Static flashed around them like a television, and they were back inside the warehouse. Technically, Sam guessed they never had actually left the warehouse at all.   
The ring of fire burned brightly, casting sharp flickering shadows on them all.   
********

Gabriel stood within the ring of holy fire and felt the gaping hole in his gut widen. The further Sam moved away from him, the more empty he felt. The look on the young hunter’s face had hurt him. Somewhere between recognition and betrayal. The poor kid had even tried to beg for him to help them again. Gabe knew he couldn’t, and he really really wanted to, but he had promised Dad that he’d be good and stay out of it for the most part. It had clearly been a huge mistake to try and get close to Sam, it had pretty much blown up in his face. Sam didn’t feel what he felt, in fact, Sam got a peek at Gabe’s true feelings and had stood there with that stupid moose look of confusion on his face. That had felt awful. The car thing had kind of been a knee-jerk reaction to Sam almost kissing him, and by the way, what the fuck was that about? Damn Jolly Green Giant trying to put the moves on him to get what they wanted from him. He would have respect for the play if it hadn’t hit so close to home. He could still feel the ghost of breath across his lips. He was pretty sure the next few weeks would be filled with him sitting in his ugly motel room replaying the memory over and over while crying in the shower. Masturbating. While eating ice cream.   
He giggled. That actually sounded pretty awesome. Fuck it. The world was ending, wasn’t it? 

 

Cas had been the last to walk out of the warehouse, but at the last moment he hung back. Gabe’s blue-eyed baby brother looked at him and retraced his steps until he was standing back in front of Gabriel. 

The fire had been extinguished, and Gabe was able to snap his fingers and dry them both. He was curious why Cassie came back.

“Gabriel,” Cas said in his usual baritone, “it’s good to see you.” He stepped forward, as if he were going to hug Gabe, but he held back. 

Gabe sighed, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. He tried to look uninterested. “Yeah, you too, man.” Gabe looked back at his brother whom he had been through so much with, and traveled with, and had fallen in love with a Winchester with. And it was so not fucking fair. Cas got to see Dean all the time if he wanted to, and they could go on eye-fucking the way they did, grossing everyone out with all the unresolved sexual tension. Gabe would love to see the look on Cas’ face if he told him about all the freaky sex Cas and Dean had already had in the alternate future. Poor little guy’s mind would be blown.   
“I remember everything,” Cas said quietly.

Gabriel jerked out of his musing and gaped at his baby brother. 

“You what?” he asked dumbly.

Castiel moved closer until he was an arm’s length away from Gabe. He stiffly held his arms out, as if he were asking for a hug. Gabriel just looked back at him skeptically.

Cas shrugged, still keeping his arms outstretched. “I remember everything,” he repeated, “The other timeline, Father, and…” sympathy filled his eyes. “You and Sam.”

Gabriel balked, his mouth turning down, his hands making an abortive motion toward Cas.   
“I...uh…” Gabriel’s face reddened and he looked at the ground and shuffled forward, allowing Cas to envelope him in his arms. He fought back tears.

Cas held him for a few seconds and pulled back to look in his brother’s eyes.  
“I have to say goodbye to the Winchesters, but please don’t leave,” he begged, “I would like to talk more about this.” 

Gabriel nodded and blinked back tears. Cas walked out the door, leaving the archangel in the empty silence. He looked around at the dirty floor and broken windows. He sighed and felt kinship with its state of disrepair. 

Fucking bullshit. He took a steadying breath and frowned deeply. Motherfucking fuck this. This was absolute bullshit. He was a fucking Archangel of the Lord, he shouldn’t be sniveling over a mere _mortal._   
Sam should be so lucky to even be in his presence, or avoid a smiting. Hell, Gabe could go out there right now and smite the ever-loving shit out of them right now. Smite Sam. Smite him all night long, hot and sweaty...  
Gabe smacked a hand to his forehead. This was getting him nowhere. Instead of waiting for Cas, he pulled out his wings, looking around once more at the set of his own personal TV Land. He needed to get away from the Winchesters. All they did was remind him that he really couldn’t change anything and they were all destined to run headfirst off a cliff like the good little lemmings they were. 

He took off just as Cas walked back through the door. His little brother gave chase and kept up with him surprisingly well, but in the end Gabriel outran him too. 

 

********

Cas landed on the top of a tall building in New York. He was out of breath. He plunked down on the ground and fanned his wings out behind himself. He wasn’t surprised Gabriel took off, the archangel was notorious for running away when things got too difficult. Cas shook his head. He shouldn’t have pressured Gabe like that. He also shouldn’t have left him alone in the building to go say goodbye to Dean. He could have just let them leave, but he and the hunter had discussed Cas’ abrupt departures, and he had promised to try a little harder to say something before he flew off. He was still prone to darting off when he experienced strong emotion; it was all still so new to him. He supposed he wasn’t much different from Gabriel in that respect.

Castiel sat and watched the sunset, thinking fondly of his brother and having a deep yearning to help him. He knew too well the damage unrequited love could cause in his life. Cas wasn’t going to interfere with God’s plan, but he knew he needed to keep an eye on the archangel to make sure he didn’t do anything foolish. 

He needed to make a list of all his old haunts. It was likely he would retreat to one of them to lick his wounds. Being so rudely rejected would cause Gabe to act out in some way, more than usual, probably, so Cas had to act fast. He realized he literally knew no place to find Gabriel in the universe. He would have to resort to the way Dean would have tracked him, as just another supernatural being. He would look for signs of Gabe’s brand of mischief in the papers and even maybe check out the online. Cas knew he’d be out of his depth on that one, and wished he could just ask Sam directly to show him how. But involving him at this point might anger Gabriel and he didn’t want to alienate him further; Cas really wanted to see him. He was the only one who might know how to find God. And maybe he could be enlisted to help the Winchesters stop the apocalypse. Cas thought Gabriel might have been on board with that, after all, the world contained Sam. But his brother had seemed determined to just light the match himself to watch the world burn. And that was very troubling. 

 

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've been such good and wonderful readers that you deserve a little smut. Or a lot of smut. I'm curious myself to see what happens. Will Gabe masturbate with ice cream in the shower? Will he become a stalker? Will he drunk-dial his ex? Drunk-sext Sam? The possibilities are endless. \o/
> 
> <3 <3 <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel drunk texts Sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a lil' smut fo yo ass. You deserve it. You ate all your vegetables and deserve a smutty smut smut. 
> 
> And then my finger slipped and I accidentally wrote some Destiel smut because it's like a compulsion and totally not my fault at all.
> 
> Also don't forget this is 2009 before throw away phones had qwerty and you had to work to get that s. Tbh I was a master at this.

Sam browsed around on his laptop, doing a little angel research. Dean had been out for some time, and he could guess that he might end up staying with some rando from the bar across the street tonight. 

He landed on a religious site that was outlining the different classes of angels and it was somewhat contradicting the last website he looked at. The different major world religions that had lore on the angels had one thing in common: the existence of archangels. Sam clicked his way through several pages, briefly scanning the major players, Lucifer, Michael, etc. He sighed and finally quit kidding himself and typed ‘Gabriel’ in the search engine. 

The web search results were in the upper hundred thousands. He crossed referenced with Trickster and didn’t come up with much. Some stuff about Nordic myth, but nothing useful. He wasn’t entirely sure what constituted as useful, he was unsure what precisely he was looking for. Maybe just more information. Maybe it was to settle to confusion he presently felt. 

To say that Sam was affected by the interaction with Gabriel would be an understatement. More like unbelievably blown apart and aching inside with emptiness. It had hit him as soon as they had walked out of the warehouse the other day. The further he got from the building, the more he felt it. At the time, he had wondered if the archangel had cast some sort of spell on him, but his research had yet to confirm that type of thing happening before. 

Sam slammed his laptop closed in frustration. He needed to get some sleep first and maybe it would make more sense in the morning. He pulled off his flannel and t shirt, walking to the bathroom. The shower looked decent and had pretty good water pressure. He turned it on, making it as hot as he could and stepped out of his jeans and underwear. 

The water was hot enough to redden his skin. He hissed when it hit his back as he turned around. The damn shower head was too low, maybe even too low for Dean to fit comfortably under. He turned again and added a little cold water in and began to soap up.   
His mind wandered to the archangel he had awkwardly tried to seduce. He flushed, embarrassed by the memory. How stupid was that? He didn’t even know why he had gone that route, it just seemed to pop into his head when he got near Gabriel. He felt almost comfortable with him by now; Sam had had so much more interaction with him than Dean, and he had spent the better part of six months hunting the guy down to avenge Dean’s death. It was really puzzling that the Trickster- no, _Gabriel_ had taken such an interest in him. The guy had lured him into the Mystery Spot for sure, and this whole tv land thing was certainly biased. Sam definitely got the shit roles. He thought back to their first interaction. He was sure Gabriel was hitting on him at the time, and maybe he flirted back a little, but had gotten sidetracked by Dean’s childish behavior. But the Mystery Spot was key somehow. Gabriel was speaking directly to Sam. Had put him through all that for Sam to learn something. This was way before the apocalypse, and yeah he could explain it away by saying the archangel knew about the first seal being Dean taking up a blade in Hell, and he wanted Sam to just let his brother die, but that didn’t seem right. Was Gabriel that eager to end the world? If he was, why didn’t he just pick a side and run with it? Michael sure would accept the help.   
Sam paused and ran over the events after the final time Dean died in his arms. The research he did to find the guy, the days and days on the road searching for him, and the inevitable confrontation where he was disguised as Bobby, ready to sacrifice himself for Sam.   
But why? Why did Gabriel care so much? 

Sam had let his hands wander while he soaped himself. As he was thinking he idly stroked himself, his flesh hardening in his hand. His mind flashed on the look Gabriel had given him when their lips almost touched and his dick twitched in his hand. That was weird. Yeah the little guy was kinda cute, and had beautiful eyes, really. Sam had gotten a glimpse into them when he stood over the archangel. He shivered thinking about having towered over such a powerful being. He reached up with the hand that wasn’t stroking his cock and touched his lips, remembering how close they were. He imagined closing that gap and what they would have felt like. The looked soft. He wondered if they tasted like candy. 

Sam started stroking harder, leaning his forearm on the shower wall, and resting his head on it. He spread his feet apart and let the water run down his balls making them draw up in anticipation of an orgasm. He shut his eyes and pictured Gabriel’s lips. In his mind, he saw the archangel sink to his knees, submitting to Sam, wrapping his fist around Sam’s shaft and jacking him as Sam did to himself now. He imagined it was Gabriel’s hand instead of his own. He watched in his mind as Gabriel edged closer, his mouth hovering over the head of Sam’s cock while looking up at Sam with those beautiful golden eyes, and then sucking Sam down in one swallow, pushing him against the back of his throat.

Sam came hard, yelling abruptly, shooting streams of come all over the shower wall. He held himself up on his quivering legs gasping out Gabriel’s name, and waited for the blood to return to his head. He hadn’t come that hard in a long time- like maybe when he was a teenager and used to jerk it to the lady MC from the wrestling show Dean and his dad used to take him to. Dean totally had a hard on for one of the wrestlers, but Sam only had eyes for...what’s-her-name. He giggled in his post-orgasmic haze. It was time to rinse off and get out in case Dean decided to come back and sleep in the motel. 

Sam lay on his bed and waited for sleep to come. After a few minutes, he got out the laptop again. He wished he still had the photos from his hunt after the Mystery Spot, but they belonged in that pocket universe Gabriel had thrown him into. Sam clicked on the tabs at each page open on his browser and closed them one at a time. It was too bad he hadn’t kissed him. It might have been nice. 

 

********

Castiel was breathing heavily, his fist wound into the front of Dean’s shirt, pinning him against the brick wall of the alley. The hunter stared back at him, his eyes dilated with desire. Cas pressed his body up against the hunter’s, pressing their hips together causing their erections to grind against each other. They let out a moan simultaneously. Cas attacked Dean’s parted lips and thrust his tongue in and out, fucking Dean’s mouth with his own. The hunter’s knees almost buckled, and he might have fell if Cas hadn’t been holding him so tightly. They ground their hips together in a rhythm, speeding up as their kisses grew more desperate. Dean snaked his hand between them and hastily unbuttoned and unzipped both of their pants. Cas moaned into his mouth as he took them both in hand, cocks leaking pre-come and slicking their movements. They both knew they wouldn’t last long, they had both been hard for a while in the bar after Dean had tried to teach Cas how to play pool. Dean had leaned over Cas to help him line up a shot, draping his body over the angel’s and ran his hand up the back of Cas’ thigh. In two minutes, they had ended up in the alley behind the bar, Dean gripping both their cocks tightly together, hurtling them over the edge. Cas came first, Dean seconds behind, moaning and sucking on each other’s mouths until they rode out the waves of the quick and intense orgasms. 

When their breathing slowed, Dean pulled a handkerchief from Cas’ trench coat pocket and wiped them up, tucking them both back in their pants. Cas rolled to the right and leaned back against the wall, breath still heaving. The looked at one another, green meeting blue. Dean reached out his pinky finger and hooked it to Cas’. 

“Okay,” he said with a lopsided smile, “Okay, this time was the last for sure.”

Cas rolled his eyes so hard his head rolled too. “Dean, that’s what you said last time. And the time before that. And the-”

Dean cut Cas off with a kiss and smirked. “Well, I really mean it this time. We have to keep our hands off each other; we have an apocalypse to interrupt.”

Cas smiled his patented curl at the corner of his mouth. “Is this where we ‘pinky promise’ Dean?” he asked, holding up their linked fingers, “Because this contract we are entering into by use of the smallest finger on our respective hands hardly seems the basis for a legally binding accord.”

Dean’s smile grew larger and he pulled Cas to him again and kissed his neck gently. “Talk dirty to me, baby,” he said and giggled as Cas pulled back and feigned annoyance. 

“You do need to get back to Sam, Dean,” Cas said, stepping back from the hunter with obvious forced restraint, “and I need to keep looking for my Father and Gabriel.”

Dean nodded. “That’s cool. Hey!” he said, getting an idea, “why don’t you come back to the room with me and use Sam’s laptop and try to track Gabriel that way?”

Cas seemed to consider this carefully. “Do you think Sam would mind? I don’t want to impose.”

Dean snorted. “Relax Cas, he’s probably just watching porn on it right now anyway. It’ll be fine.”

Cas nodded, and waited for Dean to get back to the Impala. Before he spread his wings, he looked back at Dean again, worrying about their arrangement and their seeming inability to adhere to it. It was getting dangerous, which only seemed to fuel both of their desire. 

********

 

**Unknown Number:** Hey

**Unknown Number:** Heeeeeyyyy

**Me:** I think you have the wrong number

**Unknown Number:** Is this Sam Wincheestre

**Unknown Number:** *Winchesteer

**Unknown Number:** Fcuk *WINCHESTER

**Me:** Maybe. Who’s this?

**Unknown Number:** wouldnt u like to kno

**Me:** Yes ?

…

**Me:** ?

**Unknown Number:** hold ur horses hotstuff i got guests

**Me:** Then why are u txting me?

**Unknown Number:** Dont get sassy Sam or ill have to spank you

**Me:** wtf who is this

**Unknown Number:** ill give u a hint

**Unknown Number:** u think im hot- and i am- and u want dat ass

…

**Unknown Number:** heeelllllloooooooooo

**Me:** Gabriel?

**Unknown Number:** ding ding ding got it in one

**Me:** what do u want

**Unknown Number:** i thnik u kno what i want Sammy pants

**Me:** dont call me that

**Unknown Number:** so u dont deny it! ; p

…

**Unknown Number:** i knew it! 

**Me:** ur drunk

**Unknown Number:** ur moms drunk

**Unknown Number:** ok sry bout that

**Unknown Number:** ur face is drunk

**Me:** what do you want

**Unknown Number:** i want ur d

**Unknown Number:** in my a

**Unknown Number:** lololololololololol

**Me:** wtf Gabriel r u fucking w me?

**Unknown Number:** i hope to be very soon

**Me:** yeah ur really drunk

**Unknown Number:** plz baby u kno u want it

**Me:** go sleep it off. Wait how much did u have to drink to get this wasted?

**Unknown Number:** a vineyard 

**Unknown Number:** i drank Napa valley

**Unknown Number:** lol

**Me:** how do u get my number?

**Unknown Number:** im magical remember

**Unknown Number:** i stole it off cassies phone. he was busy at the time

**Unknown Number:** fuking ur bro wink wink

**Me:** omg ew. Y dont u just call me?

**Unknown Number:** clearly i am verrry intoxicasted anmd im borrowing this phone

**Me:** from who?

…

**Me:** hello?

**Me:** Gabriel?

**Me:** gn gabe

 

******** 

Gabriel stared at the phone in his hand. He had no idea how to respond to that. He snapped his fingers and erased all the messages. He looked around the room which swam before his eyes. Fuck. He should not have drank that much. 

The motel room was full of people, most of which were naked and writhing against one another to the beat of some 90’s Euro-trash techno. Kali was in between two large Adonis-like men who were dancing and rubbing their dicks all over her. She had her many hands out groping their different body parts, fingers slipping in and out of their assholes as they gyrated. The moans, thank Dad, weren’t heard over the music, but Gabriel could still see the ridiculous faces the men were making as Kali finger-fucked them and jerked them off at the same time. She kept looking over at Gabe to see if he was watching. Usually he liked to watch, but he just wasn’t in the mood. 

He knew he may have fucked up by drunk texting Sam, but he decided to feel bad about it later. He supposed he could have just popped out of the room for a minute and actually called the hunter, but he didn’t trust himself to not be a big baby and barf all of his stupid human feelings out all over Sam. Also there was a possibility Sam might go outside and walk to the ice machine and realize Gabriel was only about three rooms away from him. 

Earlier in the evening, temptation got the best of him and he popped into the room, remaining invisible, just to see what Sammy was doing. Dean wasn’t there and Sam had been on his laptop. Gabe had watched as Sam took a shower and gasped out Gabriel’s name as he came. It had shaken him up so badly he flew to California with the intention of calming himself with some wine so maybe he could knock on Sam’s door. Instead, he accidentally drank waaay too much and flew back to the motel, running into a few things on the way, giggling and stumbling into his room. He realized he couldn’t see Sam like that, and he knew he would lose his nerve if he sobered himself up. 

Plan B. He had called Kali (who showed up and promptly stabbed him) and he apologized for being a dick and tried to coerce her into some drunk sex. She refused and her version of revenge was to bring about 50 people into the room for a dance party/orgy. He supposed this was meant to make him jealous, but he really couldn’t make himself give a damn. At some point he realized he should have just knocked on Sam’s door, but he fucked up- if he did it now, Kali would surely kill them both. Sure, she didn’t know he was an archangel and he could bring both himself and Sam back, but that seemed like a lot of trouble right now. And Kali still thought of him as Loki, and he couldn’t afford to blow his cover at this point in the game. 

Thus the drunk texting. He had stolen the phone from Kali when she was busy tongue-deep in some blonde with enormous tits, and was secretly texting and making it look like he was jacking himself off. It seemed to work, but he still had to keep an eye on Kali- he wasn’t in the mood to deal with her wrath tonight. So he had to be careful.

He had meant to just say hi, but he was pretty sure he had made a fool out of himself. He cursed himself and decided to just pretend like it didn’t happen.

He snapped the phone back into the pocket of Kali’s discarded jeans and went back to watch the very graphic scene. By this point, both of the meathead men were discarded and Kali was having her way with two thick-legged brunette fairy women. They were laid out on the bed with their legs spread open wide while Kali fucked one of them with 10-inch rubber dildo strap-on while the fairy was eating out the other enthusiastically. Gabe was actually pretty hard now, so he watched and stroked himself while thinking of Sam. He was grateful for the loud music covering him moaning out the hunter’s name as he came all over his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *coughs* orgy.
> 
> Favorite Gabriel/Trickster moment in Supernatural: Janitor!Gabriel saying "Sorry I'm dragging a little ass today, boys. Had quite the night last night. (He turns to look at them.) Lots of sex, if you catch my drift."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bow chicka wow wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut. Not much else. Plot? Pssht. Who needs plot.
> 
>  
> 
> Hey did I mention that I have no beta and am my own very terrible editor and fuck up on the regular? so apologies for any mistakes.

Sam laid back in his bed, scrolling through the text messages, reading them over and over. Was he serious? Or was this some drunken teasing, just prolonging the embarrassment Sam had caused himself earlier?  
He was prone to think it was the latter. _i think u know what i want Sammy pants._ Then again....

Sam jerked into a sitting position as the sound of wings filled the room. He was halfway hoping, if he was being honest with himself, that it was Gabriel, and he tried to hide his disappointment when he saw it was just Cas.

“Hey Cas,” Sam said, flopping back on his bed, scrolling through his phone again. 

“Hello, Sam.” Cas stood awkwardly, as usual, and glanced around the room. 

“Dean’s been out all evening,” Sam said without looking up, “I don’t know if he’s coming back- he’s probably hooking up with some bar-fly right about now.”

Cas nodded stiffly and his cheeks went slightly pink. He cleared his throat. “Actually, Sam,” he said, “I was needing a favor from you.”

Sam looked up and raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. It was unusual for the two of them to interact without Dean, so he was all ears.

“Sure, Cas, anything you need.” Sam slid his phone under his pillow and sat up.

Cas continued to stand near the door looking awkward. “I was wondering if you could help me with an internets research,” he inquired, “I think it might help me in searching for my Father and brother.”

Sam straightened his posture at the mention of Gabriel. “Do you think Gabriel might change his mind about helping us?” he asked.

“It’s possible,” replied Cas, “and I think I can track him if I look for signs of his behavior on the...world wide web.”

Sam chuckled. “No one calls it that anymore, Cas,” he said, “it’s just the internet.”

Cas nodded. Sam grabbed his laptop, trying not to look overly enthusiastic. He typed ‘Gabriel’ in the search window, and a long list of his related searches popped up, causing him to redden. Thank God Castiel didn’t know anything about computers. Sam glanced up at him and saw no change in his slightly confused expression. The hunter quickly clicked on the ‘Gabriel + trickster’ search from earlier where he hadn’t found much. He gave Cas a quick lesson in scrolling and clicking, and left him to it. Cas took to it quickly and was quiet except for the occasional click.

Sam turned off the bedside lamp and crawled under the covers, his back to Cas. He pulled his phone out from under his pillow and set it by his head so it would wake him if it buzzed. He didn’t bother lying to himself about why; he knew he wanted to hear back from Gabe. Maybe in the morning when the guy sobered up.

He was almost asleep when he heard Dean come in. He didn’t seem too drunk and after a shower, he threw himself into the other bed with a grunt. He and Cas didn’t say anything to each other, but Sam could still hear the angel clicking away on his laptop. Finally, he drifted off to sleep.

*******

_Sam was laying in the grass, his hands tucked behind his head, looking at the sky. It was brilliant blue with small fluffy clouds dotting it. They pulled apart as he stared at them, and he focused and pressed them together again. He smiled at that and began morphing the clouds into familiar shapes. He made a turtle, a sailboat, and an ice cream cone. He watched the ice cream swirl upward into the blue and thought about Gabriel. He wondered what he was doing right now and if he was thinking about Sam.  
Sam took a deep breath and exhaled, blowing a thin stream of air into the sky, breaking the ice cream apart. _

_“Hey, I was gonna eat that,” came a familiar voice beside Sam._

_Sam tilted his head to the side quickly and came face to face with the archangel Gabriel, who was lying in the same position right next to Sam._

_Sam broke into a grin. “Hey, where did you come from?” he asked, “and why are you in my dream?”_

_Gabe smirked back at him. “Asking the tough questions, are we Sammy?”_

_Sam decided to let the nickname slide and smiled returning his sight to the sky. It was cool that he was dreaming about Gabe, it made sense. He had, after all, obsessed over a couple of text messages for the last few hours. It was a pleasant dream._

_His thoughts were interrupted by the smaller man hopping up and straddling Sam’s lap laying down on his chest propping his chin up with his hands on Sam’s sternum. Sam huffed a laugh out and adjusted his legs to allow the archangel to shift into a comfortable spot. And that was the weird thing. It was comfortable, like they had done this before. Well, technically, Sam guessed they had done it before; this wasn’t the first time he had dreamt of the man he knew as the Trickster. Sure, the majority of the dreams were him desperately searching for the Trickster for killing Dean, but sometimes, and this was one of those times, he would have a dream where they were in a field together, or a crappy motel room, and things would happen. It was confusing. One time Gabriel and him were kissing on a couch in the motel room from when he gave Dean the amulet necklace for Christmas._

_Gabriel was tapping his finger on his chin and looking sideways into Sam’s eyes._

_Sam smirked at him. “What,” he laughed._

_The angel shifted slightly, rubbing against Sam’s groin with his hip, causing friction that made Sam murmur a soft moan. Gabriel smiled brightly._

_“So why is it that you called me here?” Gabe asked, “was it the text messages? Because I can totally explain that.”_

_Sam lifted his eyebrows, and brought his hands from behind his head and cupped Gabe’s face with them. “Maybe,” he said._

_Gabriel gasped slightly as Sam pulled him forward and touched their lips together lightly. Their eyes fluttered shut and they breathed each other’s air for a second before Gabe pounced forward and plunged his tongue into Sam’s mouth, licking and sucking. Sam reached down and gripped Gabe’s ass in both hands and squeezed tightly, grinding down onto his erection. Gabriel spread his legs further apart, lining up their cocks and pressing down in a circular motion. They both groaned obscenely into the other’s mouth. Sam was louder that he was usually, because, well, this was just a dream._

_Speaking of it being just a dream, Sam bucked his hips and flipped the two of them over, pressing the smaller man into the grass. Gabriel snapped his fingers and their clothes vanished, their skin making contact and sending shivers through Sam’s body and into his cock. Sam pinned Gabe’s hands above his head with one hand and reached down to stroke his cock with the other, resting back on his knees. Gabriel writhed under his touch and bucked upward into Sam’s fist. Sam leaned down and took the archangel’s nipple with his teeth, nipping and sucking. He moved down further, licking and biting Gabe’s body. He let go of Gabe’s hands which were promptly thrust into Sam’s hair and lightly tugging, causing the hunter to moan. Sam pressed his thumbs into Gabe’s hips and licked a stripe up his throbbing erection, swirling his tongue at the tip. Gabe stiffened up and tightened his grip on Sam’s hair. Sam smiled up at him through his eyelashes and held his eyes for a few moments, watching as his chest heaved. Sam moved suddenly, taking Gabe’s cock down in one movement, nudging the back of his throat. Gabe stroked through Sam’s hair and Sam swallowed as he felt Gabe throb in his mouth. He sucked slowly off, hollowing his cheeks as he drew upward, catching Gabe’s eyes again. He stilled his movements, awestruck at what he saw in the angel’s eyes. It wasn’t the lust (there was plenty of that), or the odd familiarity, but it was something else, something that had no business being in a kinky sex dream. As soon as Sam saw it, it was gone and he dipped down to suck his cock down one more time before moving further down and finding Gabriel’s hole with his tongue. There was a lot of very creative swearing and possible Enochian coming from above him as Sam teased Gabe with his tongue. He ran it over the puckered entrance, causing Gabe to quiver beneath him. He took the point of his tongue and thrust it into Gabe’s ass, loosening it slowly. He felt Gabe come apart in his hands, begging and moaning at his touch. Before long he had three fingers and his tongue working in and out of Gabe, keeping the archangel in ecstasy. When he felt satisfied that Gabe was opened up enough, he crawled up Gabe’s body to kiss him again, this time slower, deeper._

_Gabriel grabbed Sam’s cock with both hands as he moved to suck on Gabe’s neck, and spread pre-come all over the head and shaft. He didn’t even pause before hooking his leg around Sam’s waist and expertly flipping the larger man on his back. He straddled him, with that glint in his eye, and pumped Sam’s generous length with both hands, causing all sorts of noises to tumble from the hunter’s mouth. Sam watched with drooping eyelids as Gabe stood on his knees and moved over Sam’s cock, hovering and stroking for a moment. Sam held his breath. Gabriel slowly lowered onto Sam’s cock, impaling himself, throwing his head back as he sank down inch by inch. Sam breathed out “fuck Gabriel fuck,” as his eyes rolled back and his hands found Gabe’s hips, helping guide him down. It was so hot and wet and tight he had to grit his teeth to keep from coming right then._

_Once fully seated, Gabriel looked down at Sam through his long hair, breathing hard. He shook his hair out of his face and swiveled his hips in a slow circle, causing Sam to tense up, trying not to come too quickly. He raised his knees and planted his feet flat on the ground, spreading his legs slightly more, thrusting even deeper into Gabriel’s hot tight little hole. Gabriel panted, his lips parted and smiled. He raised up slowly, almost all the way out and slammed back down. He did it again, his smile turning into a smirk and he found a rhythm and rode Sam like a bucking bronco. He paused and swung a leg over, not pulling off, and spun around so his back was to Sam. The hunter grabbed his waist and pounded up into him._

_“I’m close,” panted Sam, increasing his speed. He watched Gabe lean slightly back and felt when he hit the smaller man’s prostate, the muscles gripping tightly around him. He hit that angle over and over until Gabriel clenched around him, screaming out Sam’s name and shooting come into the grass between their legs. The spasms around Sam’s cock pushed him over the edge as well, and he shot load after load into Gabe as he rode out the most intense orgasm he’d ever had in a dream._

_Wait, what? It was a dream, right? Sam had never had a dream like this one, not this vivid, never. He usually woke up before coming, with a raging hard on, having to sneak off into the bathroom in the middle of the night and rub one out._

_Sam looked at Gabriel’s slumped form in his lap. He sat up slowly until his chest was pressed to Gabe’s back, causing his cock to slip out. He wrapped his arms around Gabe and the archangel dropped his head back onto his shoulder, still panting. Sam placed small kisses into Gabe’s neck and shoulder and ear. Gabe sighed.  
Sam furrowed his brow, turning Gabe until they were chest to chest. Gabe wouldn’t meet his eyes. His head was bowed and he looped his arms around Sam’s neck, his chin tucked to his chest. Sam lifted his chin with a fingertip gently and was met with the golden eyes. There was sadness there, and something else unnamed. Sam sucked in a breath._

_“What is it, what’s wrong?” Sam asked, his hands moving to frame Gabe’s face to hold his gaze._

_Gabriel shied away with a dry huff of laughter. “You won’t remember when you wake up.”_

_Sam looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”_

_Gabe schooled his expression and smiled. “Doesn’t matter, Sammy boy, it was good while it lasted.”_

Sam opened his mouth to protest, but Gabe had already snapped his fingers and Sam was back in his bed, blinking awake, very aware of the drying sticky mess in his pajamas. And the fact that Cas was still in the room, now apparently watching funny cat videos. 

********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe more story next time, I think. Hammer of the Gods is next, so fair warning, we know how that ends. Ima fix the shit outta that dammit. and you will learn all my crazy, aluminum hat-wearing fan theories and head cannons. so there.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orgy hangover isn't pleasant for anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mention the orgy is "industry people only" because I like to think that everyone participating in my imaginary orgy is legally consenting and card-carrying disease free. It makes for a safer and more fun orgy for everyone! Yay! Safety first people! Even in fiction!
> 
> Even the magical creatures get tested regularly. It's just being responsible. 
> 
> -this Health Class lesson brought to you by the author
> 
> ;*)

Gabriel opened his eyes and found himself staring into the face of a royally pissed off goddess. She already had blue fire blooming behind her eyes and her teeth seemed to be growing pointy as she clenched her jaw, trying to hold her composure. 

Gabriel smiled brightly. “Hey babe, how’s the kinky sex going?”

Kali’s face broke into an equally bright smile, but laced with venom. “If you had bothered to actually be here for it, you would have noticed that everyone had already fallen asleep.”

The absence of the loud techno music struck Gabe’s ears suddenly and he looked around. There were bodies everywhere, and to his relief, they all seemed to still be alive. Bodies of men and women and others were lying peacefully on and around each other in post-coital bliss and snoring gently. 

Gabriel sat up. “Then I guess I better vamoose, huh…” he said sheepishly, raising his hand to snap his fingers.

Kali grabbed him by his collar and wrist, swinging him around and pinning him by his throat against the wall. His feet dangled a foot off the ground.

“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me who you were with,” she countered, murder in her eyes.

Gabriel considered letting her stab him again just so she would leave him alone. But he was still sore from when she stabbed him the day before. And when Sammy had stabbed him before that. He sighed and hung his head as far as he could while she had him by the throat. 

“I’m sorry babe,” he said with his best impersonation of someone who actually gave a fuck, “I’ve just been tired lately. You know there’s only so many times you can participate in an orgy before they just...quit being fun, I guess.” He shrugged and side-eyed Kali to see her reaction.

Kali’s eyes softened. She let him slide down the wall and took her hand off his throat. He rubbed his neck and looked as sorry as he could manage. She leaned forward and kissed him gently.

“I know what you mean, Loki,” she said with true sympathy, “maybe it’s time you settled down. With one person, maybe? A less complicated life, to ride out this ridiculous Christian apocalypse?”

Gabriel smiled, holding back a facepalm. That went sideways. Great, now he’d have to propose if he wanted to get out of the room alive. He ran a finger along her cheek, and booped her nose. 

“Maybe you’re right, Kali,” he said back-pedaling, “I have been living la vida loca as long as I can remember. Maybe I should spend some time alone? You know, find myself, Eat Pray Love style. I’ll call you when I get to the Love part, ‘kay?” He stepped back from her and held his hand up to snap. It was no sooner than his fingers touched that he saw her eyes narrow and the flames returned to her eyes.  
Gabe flew to several locations to make sure she was off his trail. He landed in Fiji before he remembered he left Sammy behind. Hoping Kali was gone by then, he popped back into the motel room to retrieve his dog from the safety the bathroom. The room was quiet save the light snoring and shifting of bodies. His eye caught movement in the corner of the room, and he froze, but it was just the two Adonis men fucking quietly over the back of a chair. Gabe smiled gently, remembering the way Sam felt under his hands and the way his giant cock filled him so full. He shivered and flew off with Sammy the jack russel under his arm to a new location. It was time to lay low for awhile and wait for the world to end. 

 

********

 

Sam sat frozen in place. Castiel hadn’t turned around, so maybe he hadn’t noticed that Sam was awake. He could possibly sneak over to the bathroom and shower and not have to interact with the angel. His face burned with shame over the possibility that Cas might have heard him have a freaking wet dream. Thank God for small favors that Dean was passed out. If he found out, Sam would be teased until the literal end of time. 

Sam was standing up when Cas addressed him.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Sam,” he said in monotone without turning from the montage video of cats trying to jump and falling off of things. “It’s a perfectly natural human response to stimuli while dreaming.”

Sam groaned inwardly and looked away as quick as possible. “Uh, yeah, Cas thanks,” he said quietly, “but, uh, keep it down please, I don’t want to wake Dean.”

Cas spun in the desk chair to face Sam. “I’m sure your brother has had nocturnal emissions before, Sam, like I said it’s a natural-”

“Yeah, yeah, I got that Cas, thanks,” Sam said cutting him off and escaping into the bathroom. He stripped and hopped into the shower to wash off the evidence of the most realistic dream he’d ever had, and possibly the hardest he’d ever come. It was a real shame it didn’t actually happen; he desperately wanted to feel Gabe’s hip bones in his grip again. 

He shook his head and finished drying himself off, trying not to dwell on it too long lest he get hard again. There was no way he could take care of it now after that rather creepy conversation with Cas.

Sam quietly opened the bathroom door to sneak back into bed. Two heads whipped toward him. Sam smiled sheepishly and didn’t meet either Dean or Cas’ eyes as he darted to his bed, hopping in again. Dean cleared his throat, and mumbled something about needing to bleach his brain out and headed into the bathroom. 

Sam checked the clock. It was about 6am, so he knew he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep. He sighed and sat up. He heard the shower come on, so he moved to his bag to get new clothes and to talk to Cas. 

“Did you say something to Dean?” he asked.

“Yes,” Cas answered, “I asked him to please take it easy on you, since you had just experienced nocturnal emissions and may be feeling awkward.”

Sam groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Cas…there is so much wrong with that I can’t even-” he shook his head and changed the subject. 

“Have you had any luck with your searches?” Sam asked, not expecting Cas to have made progress. It was clear the angel had gotten caught in the Youtube rabbit hole and wound up where everyone eventually does: funny cat videos. Sam chalked it up to one of those deep quantum physics things that were popular when he was at Stanford. Internet Rabbit Hole Theory, or something.

Much to Sam’s surprise, Cas nodded affirmatively. “I was able to track Gabriel pretty easily,” Cas said, clicking on a few tabs at the top of the browser, “through this alternate realm called...MySpace?”

Sam snorted. It would figure that Cas would find an archangel in the skank-filled site MySpace. “What, does he have a profile or something?”

Cas shook his head and found the page he was looking for. It took forever to load due to all the add-ons of glittery background and outdated techno music. 

The profile in question featured a snapshot of a man wearing large sparkly sunglasses and a boa. Sam squinted at the screen and moved closer to get a better look. “I guess that could be him,” Sam conceded, “it’s hard to tell with that mustache...Who is...Jack Mehoff?” Sam heard it after he said it aloud. He ran his hand over his face, hiding a smile. Clever. 

Cas tilted his head. “I’m guessing it’s an alias. For the pornographic movies he performs in.”

Sam choked and looked at Cas with wide eyes. “H-how do you even know that?” he sputtered.

Cas pointed at the ‘about’ section.

Sam pulled a bitchface and read. “Special skills: hittin’ it, poppin’ it, and workin’ it all night long. Works at: Casa Erotica.” He sat back and exhaled slowly, looking away. “Well I guess that explains a lot.”

Cas gave him a careful look and pointed back at the screen. “But look here,” Cas scrolled to show Sam a post above a link to a funny cat video (of course). It was a flyer for a party posted last night. The cheesy graphics declared the party to be wild and all night, and was clearly open to porn industry people only. Sam felt his stomach turn. The hollow feeling that had dissipated while he was asleep came back full force, taking his breath away. 

Cas lifted an eyebrow but didn’t mention it if he noticed Sam’s reaction. He pointed out one last thing to Sam. It was an address. To a motel. To be exact, the very motel they were staying in. 

Sam jumped up, reaching for his shoes and pants. He fumbled them on, and headed to the door. Of course he was in the same motel. He probably was over there laughing at them.

“Sam... Sam... Sam,” Cas said patiently as the man fumbled around, “It’s not likely he is still here. I would have woken you if I thought it was a possibility.”

Sam paused looking at Cas strangely. “Wait, when you said ‘you’, did you mean Dean and I or just me?” 

Cas stared blankly back. Sam stepped forward, narrowing his eyes at Cas. “You would have woken Dean and I right?” he said lowly, “not just woken me?”

A light of recognition flashed across Cas’ face, quickly replaced by his usually stoic expression. “Yes, of course, Sam. I...meant the two of you.” he paused. “Why do you ask?”

Sam hesitated, a red flush creeping up his neck and to the tips of his ears. “No reason,” he said lamely. 

Cas smirked at him and stood up. “You said his name, you know,” he said cryptically, walking out the door. 

Sam was following, ready to make him explain, but Dean emerged from the bathroom dressed and stood with an amused look on his face. He didn’t ask where they were going, but pulled on his flannel and chuckled.

Sam gave him an embarrassed half smile and darted out the door to follow Cas. 

 

********

The door to the room was left slightly open. The smell hit them before they even walked in. 

“Whew!” Dean exclaimed, fanning the air in front of his face, “What the hell, man, it smells like b’dussy in here.” He looked at Cas with raised eyebrows, waiting for him to take the bait.

“What’s b-” started Cas, interrupted by Sam’s hand in the air.

“Don’t...just don’t,” warned Sam, rolling his eyes and and moving into the room. Dean looked disappointed.

The room was lit by the bedside lamps, one with a blue silk scarf over it, casting a cooler shadow across the room, giving it that ‘classy prono’ look. There were several naked men and women lying strewn about, most attractive and looking extremely hungover. More woke up as they entered the room.

Dean clapped his hands together loudly, smirking. “Okay folks, time to head out,” he said loudly, causing several to wince, “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” He looked back at Sam and smiled gleefully. “I’ve always wanted to say that,” he said. 

Cas and Sam were moving around the people, looking for anything that might tell them where Gabriel had gone next. There was a shabby armchair by the crappy television that had candy wrappers scattered around it. Cas reached down to pick one up, showing it to Sam. “Well, he wa here,” he murmured, “I suppose we could interview these witnesses.” 

Most of the people in question had already gathered up clothing and were stumbling out the door, keys and phones in hand.

Dean snorted and mumbled _witnesses,_ and nudged a rather large blond man who was reclining on the bed. “Hey, Fabio,” Dean said, “you see a...uh, little dude, about yay high, super snarky, has a thing for ding dongs and ho-ho’s?” Dean turned back, winking at Cas, who didn’t crack a smile. Dean looked disappointed again and turned back to the beefcake. 

The Fabio-look alike stretched himself out on the bed, clearly displaying himself to the newcomers. Dean went red and looked away. 

“Sure,” he said, “that’s Jack, he threw the party. But I don’t see him now.” Fabio swung a leg open, relaxing down into the mattress further, smirking at Dean. “But I’m way prettier than he is. You sure you don’t want to upgrade?” 

Dean sputtered and glanced back at the man, who was now running his fingers idly up and down the shaft of his rather monstrous cock. Sam watched Cas stiffen as the smitey look appeared on his face. The angel stepped forward, eyes flashing with blue light. Sam grabbed his arm and held him back. He silently told Cas to hold on, they still needed the naked man. Cas nodded slightly and kept his eyes trained on Fabio and Dean.

Dean backed up slightly, taken aback by this turn of events, his eyes wide. Fabio pulled his knees up on the bed, flaring his still dilated asshole at Dean, as if he were winking.  
Dean threw his hands up exclaiming, “I’m done!” and he marched out of the room, slamming the door behind him. 

Cas actually chuckled. He spoke to Sam, “There’s still a few things about sex Dean isn’t comfortable with. He could have easily told the man he wasn’t interested, but he-” Cas stopped himself, suddenly looking very uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and turned to address the man on the bed. Sam was still gaping at Cas. What the fuck just happened?

“Sir,” Cas said in an overly formal way, “can you tell us when Jack left, or if he left with anyone?”

Fabio sighed at the change of subject, and looked bored. “Yeah, maybe a few hours ago,” he intoned, “while Johnny was balls deep in my ass,” he motioned to the large hulk of muscle lying next to him, asleep. “I remember because that hot Indian chick had him up against the wall doing some breath play or something. Anyway it was hot. I came all over that dude’s face.” He motioned to a snoozing businessman- looking guy who was passed out at the foot of the bed. 

Sam grimaced. He was pretty sure his face couldn’t get any redder without catching on fire. Cas was nodding as if the guy had just told him the time. “Thank you, sir,” Cas said politely, “we will take our leave of you. Good day.”

Sam and Cas walked out of the room where Dean was waiting, arms crossed, looking rather smitey himself. Sam smirked at him. Dean shot him the finger and spun around stomping back to their room.

“Don’t even say anything out of your stupid face right now, Sammy, I swear to God.” 

Sam glanced at Cas, catching him looking fondly at Dean’s back. Sam smiled. It was so cute how the angel had a little crush on his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who need a definition: B'dussy- noun. Referring to the combined odor of "booty, dick, and pussy." First becoming popular in the late 1990's in the completely terrible comedy film, Def Jam's How to Be a Player. The line, "It smells like b'dussy up in here," was uttered by the late Bernie Mack. May he rest in peace.
> 
> The More You Know 
> 
> I like TellingBadJokesThatNoOneLaughsAt!Dean. He's by far my favorite Dean. I believe Cas laughs on the inside. But doesn't get the joke.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elysian Hotel hot lovin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware the rough wall sex in this chapter. I actually re-wrote it a few times, trying to reduce the angst. I failed miserably and now I feel sad for them. 
> 
> But it's okay, I'm not killing anyone off. I promise.

Sam paced the room, panting, eyes wild with panic. Seeing Gabriel show up in the hotel ballroom threw him for a loop that he was unable to recover from. It appeared that the deities there were unaware that he was an angel- an archangel no less. And now being dismissed back to their room? Bullshit. He deserved- no wait- he meant _they_ deserved an explanation from Gabe. Sam needed to get his head in the game.

“Alright,” he said, facing Dean, “so what's our next move?” 

Dean wasn’t in much better shape.  
“I-I-I... I don't know,” he stuttered, “Grab those poor saps outta the freezer, I guess? Bust 'em out? Gank a few freaks along the way if we're lucky? 

“And when are you ever lucky?”

Dean and Sam spun to see the owner of the voice. Gabriel was kicked back on the couch, feet up, looking a little too casual for the situation. Sam narrowed his eyes. How the hell does this guy have the nerve to be so fucking relaxed?

Dean sneered at the archangel. “Well you know what, bite me, Gabriel.” 

Gabriel smirked and was very much not looking Sam’s direction. “Maybe later, big boy.”  
He stood, sauntering over to the brothers. He kept his eyes trained on Dean. 

Dean huffed a dry laugh. “I should've known. I mean this had your stink all over it from the jump.” 

Gabe lifted an eyebrow. “You think I'm behind this?...” 

Sam stopped listening. Why wasn’t Gabriel looking at him? Did he do something to piss him off? He drunk texted him from ‘not his phone’ like _months_ ago, and nothing since. 

Sam flushed slightly when he thought about the dream. He’d had a few more, but none were as vivid as the first. He felt the flush creep down his chest to his groin. Not a good time. He tried to will his very inappropriate almost boner away.

“And why do you care?” asked Dean.

Sam straightened up. That was the question he’d been asking since the Mystery Spot. But he never got a clear answer. He did his best to focus and stay on mission. Right, apocolypse. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes to Sam, finally. Sam held his breath, and a wave of _something_ swept through him. 

The archangel seemed to speak only to Sam. “I don't care. But, me and Kali we, uh, had a thing. Chick was all hands. What can I say? I'm sentimental.”

The floor fell out from underneath Sam. Kali? He was there for her? Images flashed through Sam’s mind. Kali and Gabe holding hands. Kali and Gabe kissing under mistletoe. Kali and Gabe by a fireplace, making sweet love. Sam felt like he was going to vomit. He felt a band of tight jealousy grip his chest. He stepped forward anyway, keeping his facial features carefully schooled. Stay on mission. 

“Do they have a chance?” Sam asked Gabe, “ Against Satan?” 

Dean shot him an impressive bitchface. “Really, Sam?” 

Sam glanced quickly at his brother, “You got a better idea, Dean?” He turned back to meet Gabriel’s sharp golden eyes. Sam felt as if Gabe could see everything he was thinking, and tried to keep the panic from rising up his throat. 

“It's a bad idea,” Gabriel’s voice lowered and became urgent as he continued to stare down Sam, not breaking eye contact. “Lucifer's gonna turn them into finger paint. So let's get going while the going's good, hmm?” 

Dean nodded curtly. “O.K. Great, why don't you just zap us outta here then?” 

Gabriel finally tore his gaze from a very stunned Sam. “Would if I could,” he said, “but Kali's got you by the short and curlies. It's a blood spell. You boys are on a leash.” 

Dean pulled a face. “What does that mean?” 

Gabriel gave Dean a half smile. He held up his hand and snapped. Dean’s face froze, and Sam’s brain helpfully gave him a memory of his father telling Dean it would stick like that. He looked sharply at Gabriel, who was now regarding him somberly.

“Sam,” he said quietly, “ I think we need to talk.”

Sam’s eyes widened as Gabriel approached him carefully. The archangel’s face had softened and he was looking at Sam in an undefinable way.

Sam tried to talk, cleared his throat, and tried again. “What about?” he said, trying to sound casual. He fought the urge to back away.

Gabriel reached out to him, seemed to think better of it, and put his hand to his mouth, thinking.   
“Lucifer’s on his way, and we need to get you out of here.” 

Sam lifted his brows in mock surprise. “Oh, is that so,” he said, with mild sarcasm, “your concern is overwhelming.” He turned away, unable to meet Gabe’s eyes. He was having a confused swirl of emotions rip through him and was finding it difficult to form a clear thought. He tried to keep his mind intentionally blank, but the images of Gabe and Kali kept popping up. He prayed Gabriel was being polite enough to stay out of his head.

“Now when have you known me to be polite?” Gabe said with a smirk.

Sam whipped his head back, looking caught. He held his breath and waited for the inevitable taunting.

Gabe stepped into Sam’s space, looking up at him with a twinkle in his eyes. “What’s the story, morning glory?” he asked poking Sam in the ribs playfully. “You miss me? You pining away for me up in your tower waiting for me to arrive on a trusty steed and ask you to lower you hair so I can climb you like a tree?” 

Sam’s face got hot very quickly. In fact, his whole body was in flames, at Gabe’s proximity. He had to look down at him, he was so close now. 

“You..I mean, you- what about Kali?” Sam sputtered out, “I mean, shouldn’t you be more worried about...Kali?” he finished lamely. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and stepped back from Sam pacing a bit seeming to choose his words. Sam was disappointed at the sudden void of heat against him. 

“Well, actually,” Gabe said, squinting at the ceiling, pacing. “If you want to get technical, Kali and I’ve been over for a while. I mean, geez, there’s only so many times you can let someone kill you before you have to wonder if they even had feelings for you at all.” He looked pointedly at Sam. 

Sam huffed out a laugh, quickly relieved, and crossed his arms. “Is that what this is about?” he said lightly, “me stabbing you? I’d say that I’m sorry, but you know you deserved it. I mean, come on!” he said throwing his hands up, “You killed Dean like 200 times and made me say I have...herpes.” The last part was said with some humiliation, and a half a smile.

Gabe grinned wickedly, chuckling to himself, still pacing. “Yeah, that was a good one.” He stopped in front of Sam, his head cocked to the side suddenly listening to something the hunter couldn’t hear. 

“Oh shit, kid, we don’t have time to play the blame game right now,” he said, back to being serious, “Lucifer got the message that you two are here, so we need to move quickly. We don’t have time to rehash that little slap-fight we have every time we meet. Here, just look.” Gabe reached up and touched Sam’s head.

Sam reeled as the memories flooded through his head at light speed. He opened his eyes and felt around for the bed behind him so he could collapse on it. His mouth was hanging open, and he gaped at Gabriel, unable to say anything.

_He was with Gabe in the motel room, where Gabe revealed himself to Sam inside his memories. The conversation at the Mystery Spot. The Christmas tree and dry-humping on the couch. Standing in a field. Gabriel’s lips closing over his, taking his breath away._

“What the fuck was all that?!” Sam almost shrieked, “when did that all happen?”

Gabriel sat next to him on the bed, still a respectable distance away, gauging his reaction. “I can’t give you all the memories, but trust me, you do _not_ want them back. You’re better off. In fact,” he said sheepishly, “I’m not really supposed to be interfering at all, and will probably erase everything when I leave.” Gabe stood suddenly, second guessing himself. “Actually, forget I said anything, just- I’ll-” 

Sam grabbed his wrist and held him still. Gabe slowly turned to meet his eyes.

“No,” Sam said softly, “let me keep them. The ones you just gave me, I want those.” 

Gabriel let himself be pulled back down to the bed. Sam was looking shrewdly at him, brows drawn together. He cocked his head, scrunching his face up.

“Wait- did you...did you dreamwalk me? After dunk texting me?” he asked suspiciously.

Gabe’s face split into a devilish grin. It promptly disappeared as Sam attacked his mouth, pushing him flat into the mattress. The archangel squeaked in surprise, and melted into Sam’s touch. Sam licked into Gabe’s mouth with a moan and shifted so Gabe could wrap his legs around him. Sam ground down, causing a shiver in them both when their erections made contact. Gabriel ran his hands through Sam’s hair, tugging his head back to look him in the eyes. They panted into each other’s mouth.

“I don’t know how much time you think we have,” said Gabriel, “but this is going to have to be quick if we want to make it out of here alive.”

Sam smirked. “Yeah I can do quick and dirty,” he said, sucking on Gabe’s lower lip between words, “but I need you to put Dean somewhere first.”

Gabe glanced over at the forgotten older Winchester. He snapped his fingers saying, “Consider it done.” Dean vanished.

Sam pulled back and sat up, taking the angel with him, pulling him into his lap. They kissed roughly, biting and sucking moans out of each other. Sam stood, grabbing Gabe’s ass and lifting him up with him. Sam spun and slammed the smaller man against the wall, Causing him to gasp out Sam’s name. Sam tore at Gabe’s clothing and tried to wriggle out of his own, which was impossible in that position. He looked wryly at Gabriel. “Do you mind?”

Gabe remembered himself with an “Oh yeah,” and snapped their clothing away, causing skin to slap against skin. They were both completely hard, and they grunted as their cocks pushed against each other. Sam took them both in his hand, squeezing gently. Gabriel threw his head back into the wall and growled. 

“Come on Sammy boy, you can do better than that!” he shouted, pulling Sam back into a rough kiss. Sam grunted in response and shoved two fingers into Gabe’s mouth, which the angel sucked on, sloppy and wet. Sam moved the fingers, dripping with saliva down behind Gabriel, finding his hole from underneath. He moved his index finger around in circles, teasing and prodding.

“Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, Sam!” Gabe groaned impatiently, “Get on with it, we haven’t got all day!”

Sam snarled into Gabriel’s throat and shoved two fingers in without further ado. Gabe yelped and held on for dear life as Sam pumped them in and out, hastily stretching him. Gabe grinned pushed down on his fingers, and wrapped his legs around Sam even tighter.

“That’s more like it, don’t be scared Sammy,” he teased, “I’m not gonna break. Archangel, remember?” 

Sam pulled his fingers out and pushed Gabriel up higher, putting Gabe’s legs over his forearms pulling his cock under Gabe so it ran along the length of his ass crack. The archangel was still braced against the wall, practically folded in half. He leaned to the side and grabbed Sam’s cock, guiding it and pressing it to his hole. Sam slowly pushed in, locking eyes with Gabriel, suddenly feeling surreal. He was fucking an archangel against a wall with time stopped around him in a hotel full of gods. Gabe was staring back with a mixture awe and unrestrained passion. Sam didn’t know what his own face was revealing, but Gabe’s softened and he leaned forward and waited for to Sam to meet him halfway. The kiss was tender, in high contrast to their shared contact up until now. 

Sam had bottomed out. They kissed, and he remained still, buried in Gabriel, trying to stave off orgasm. 

Gabe broke the kiss. His lips curled into the familiar mischievous smile. “Come on, big boy,” he whispered, “give me what you got.”

Sam pulled back, almost all the way out, and slammed back in. Gabe was speechless for once. Sam pulled back again, and thrust forward quicker. He did it again and again, increasing speed, slamming Gabriel into the wall with each thrust. The archangel had his head thrown back against the wall in ecstasy, moaning and swearing and grunting out Sam’s name. 

Sam could feel he was close to coming, so he tried to figure out how to get his hands on Gabe’s cock. It didn’t look like it was going to happen, and Sam needed to make him come. Wanted to feel his release pump from his body into his hand. Pausing, he adjusted his grip and swung Gabe back onto the bed without pulling out. Gabrielle giggled and scooted around to get comfortable. “Sammy, you spoil me,” he said batting his eyelashes.

Sam released his legs and wrapped them back around his waist. He took the archangel’s hands and pinned them above his head on the pillow. He hovered over Gabe and let his eyes memorize everything he could, not knowing if or when they’d be able to do this again. He started thrusting slowly again, releasing Gabe’s hands above his head to brace himself with one hand and grasp Gabe’s cock in his other. Gabriel moaned and writhed, murmuring in Enochian. Sam twisted his hips, trying to find the right angle. He knew he had hit Gabe’s prostate when the angel arched up of the bed and cried out his name. Sam hit the spot over and over, stroking Gabe’s cock in time with his thrusts. Gabe’s breath caught and he went still, and Sam could feel his cock throb as he came over Sam’s hand and onto his chest. The look on Gabriel’s face was pure joy, and Sam felt his heart swell. He came with a shout, slamming one last time into Gabe, filling him and feeling the spasms racking the archangel’s body. 

Gabe pulled Sam down to his chest, holding him tight in the sticky mess between them until Sam caught his breath. Sam kept his eyes closed and tried to memorize the sound of Gabe’s heart thudding under him and the way his lungs expanded and the the feeling if his fingers running through Sam’s hair. It was all going to be over too soon. Sam knew this was temporary. 

Gabriel pulled Sam up too look him in the eye. “You think too loud, kiddo,” he said softly, “just be here with me now. Please.”

The plea was unusual, so Sam acquiesced and buried his face back into Gabriel’s neck. 

Time was short and they soon had to get up and get dressed. Gabe made short work of that, though Sam felt regret at not being able to shower or lay next to each other. It was silly to want that; Sam didn’t get to have those kind of things anymore. That was the sacrifice of doing what they did, attachments lead to heartbreak. 

Gabriel was repositioning Dean in the spot he had been in before, and stepped back to admire his work. Sam watched him and felt the emptiness return. 

“Gabe,” he said softly, not able to meet his eyes, “what...what happens next? I mean, with the plan and everything.” Sam glanced furtively up, catching Gabriel’s penetrating gaze. 

Gabe quickly moved into Sam’s space again, staring up at him with a very determined look. “I know what you mean, Sammy,” he said gently, “but there are bigger things than us right now, and it will all work out in the end. You just gotta have faith in me. My Dad too. And yourself, Sam. You will know what to do when the time comes. I’ll make sure of it.”

Sam nodded dumbly, and met Gabe’s lips softly in a kiss. He knew somehow, Gabriel always meant well and was one of the few people he had ever known who alway tried to act in Sam’s best interest. The angel wasn’t always on the mark; his message delivery needed a little work, but the intent was pure. He cared for Sam, and Sam still had no idea why. There were a lot of things missing, but he trusted that Gabe knew best and didn’t demand the other memories back. He knew he had absolutely no reason to trust Gabriel when he walked into the hotel that evening, but hours later, he felt like Gabe had saved him. He needed him, and he wouldn’t get to have him. Not really. Not the way he wanted. It was a strange thing to want. To want something and not know why.

Gabe pulled back, eyes filled with things unsaid. He twitched a quick smile before stepping into position and allowing time to move again with a snap.

Dean finished making his face and waited for Gabe’s response.

“It means it's time for a bit of the old black magic,” Gabriel said as he spritzed his mouth with breath spray, looking coy.

Dean looked uncomfortable and motioned to Sam. “Okay, yeah. Well, whatever. Well, we're gonna take the hors d'oeuvres in the freezer with us.” 

Gabriel shook his head. “Forget it. It's gonna be hard enough sneaking you mooks outta here.”

Sam stood there watching, feeling detached from his body. He could vaguely hear the discussion between his brother and his...his what? He uselessly wished that things were different. But what did they say about wishes? Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up first? A John Winchester Classic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Hammer of the Gods up next.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure unadulterated shameless smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, yeah... I wrote this thing.
> 
>  
> 
> Straight porn chapter, not much plot.

Gabriel stood over his corpse. The burnt ash of his wings spread outward, draping over a table and onto the floor. His own blade protruded from his chest, glinting in the crappy cheap lighting of the hotel ballroom. 

He sincerely hoped it was enough of a distraction for Dean and Sam to escape with Kali. 

The body on the floor shimmered and disappeared. Gabriel took one last look around at the slain deities strewn about the hotel. He felt remorse- unfamiliar as it was- clenching his gut. The way things had ended with Lucifer was actually better than he expected. He knew Luci wouldn’t fall for the oldest trick in the book; he was actually a little insulted that his brother thought he was dumb enough to attack him from the rear. Lucifer should have picked up on it. It didn’t matter anyway. Luci took off, back to whatever hole in the wall rat’s nest he was staying in. Back to Hell probably.  
Didn’t matter. Wasn’t Gabriel’s problem anymore. 

He really needed to get his shit together. It was probably a huge mistake to hook up with Sam. The poor boy would probably get attached and try to follow him around making sure he was ok and maybe pulling his ass out of the fire occasionally. No- wait that was Gabe. He was playing Dudley Doo-Right to Sam’s hot damsel in distress tied to the train tracks. It had been risky to do what he did- and leave Sam’s memories intact. Gabe shot out a quick apology prayer to his Dad (no answer, of course), and flew the coop. Time to find a new hidey-hole and wait for the end. 

A small unfamiliar pang of guilt nestled in Gabe’s gut. It was rubbing elbows with the already increasing void that returned the moment he left Sam in the hotel room. He shuddered as a gust of loss blew through him. 

The most important part of the plan was for Lucifer to believe he was dead. It was the only way he could protect Sam.   
********

 

Sam knew. If he had learned anything at all about his wayward archangel, it was that the miniature fucker was impossible to kill. Sam had no idea what transpired once he and Dean left the hotel with Kali, but he assumed it was the usual dramatic flair of smoke and mirrors, and Gabriel was back in hiding. It pained Sam to know he may never see him again. But there was always the chance the world would end and he might run into him again. Sam chuckled at the thought of the apocalypse being a plus now. 

Dean gave him an odd look in the rearview. There was literally no reason he could come up with to explain what the hell was so funny about the situation. Sam shrugged his shoulders and directed his attention to Kali.

Sam cleared his throat nervously. “Um, ma'am?” he started.

Kali turned back to him with a raised eyebrow.

Sam gave her the dimple smile, hoping to come off as innocent. He was still pretty angry at her for stabbing Gabe _again,_ but it was Gabriel’s wish that they help her escape unharmed. Sam had no trouble admitting to himself that he took pleasure in that fact Gabe had chosen him over her.

“Is there anywhere we can take you?” he asked, still smiling.

Kali turned back to the front and sighed. “Don’t think you’re fooling anyone, boy,” she said tiredly, “I know what you mean to him.”

Sam’s eyes grew large and he caught Dean’s suspicious look in the rearview.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he said too quickly.

“You know exactly what I mean,” she said sounding bored, “you’re his now, and no one will ever be able to fill that void the way he does. Believe me, I know.”

Her voice waivered at the last words, betraying her cool exterior. Sam felt a sudden wave of empathy for her, his anger all but disappearing. He regarded her words for a few long moments before responding.

“Is he dead?” he asked cautiously.

“Boy, have you ever known him to actually _be_ dead?” she asked with a chuckle, “and knowing now that he’s an archangel…” she shook her head, “Makes sense, actually. He did seem to have more power than your average Norse god. He could have easily taken out Odin himself with little effort.” 

Sam took a deep breath and leaned back in his seat. He caught Dean’s eye again and blushed. Dean’s eyes crinkled knowingly at the corner, but he stayed uncharacteristically silent for once. Probably only because he didn’t want to be consumed by fire by the thousands of years old deity sitting shotgun. Sam narrowed his eyes. He would end up being ridiculed for weeks. Months, even.

Kali breathed in and out deeply. She turned and faced Sam again briefly, flashing him a small, rare smile. “Thank you boys,” she said gratefully, “but you can let me off at the next gas station. I can make my way from here.” 

Dean gave her a nod and pulled into the closest Gas n Sip. Kali swung her door open, and stood waiting for Sam to exit the car to take the front seat. They stood alone outside for a moment, though not uncomfortably. 

“Sam,” Kali said, her face kind, “I hope it works out for the two of you. He’s a hard one to pin down, but you’re different.” She smirked, and turned back as she walked toward the store. “However, if I see you again, I may have to kill you out of principle. I need less Winchester in my life. Good luck with your ‘apocalypse’.” Kali turned back to the store, and walked away, swinging her hips in her impeccable heels and dress, mumbling about a cherry slushy. 

Sam shook himself out of his stupor. They encountered a whole bunch of crazy on a daily basis, but the past 24 hours was winning so far. He couldn’t believe it could get any weirder than this. He turned back to the car and groaned when he saw Dean had rolled down the window while he and Kali were talking. So much for a private conversation. 

Sam chose to ignore the giant shit-eating grin plastered all over Dean’s face. He knew the teasing would be unending. 

 

***

 

Dean pulled the Impala over to the side of the highway when they were out of sight of any signs of civilization. He placed Sam’s laptop on the roof of the car and popped the dvd into the slot on the side. It cued up immediately. Sam grimaced at the cheesy porno music. The premise was pretty standard; hot girl, knock on the door. 

“Gabriel wanted you to guard this with your life?” Sam asked, Bitchface of Confusion on his face.

Dean shrugged. “Maybe he's a fan. It is a good one.”

Sam rolled his eyes, and they watched the porno. He was utterly unsurprised when Gabriel came in, gave his broken fourth wall speech and helped them once more. Horsemen, rings, trapping Lucifer. It was all very helpful. And then Gabriel pounced on the girl and fell back to the bed. Sam’s face turned red and he slammed the laptop closed with a disgusted noise. 

“Oh, uh, oh! Oh man!” Sam caught a flash of sympathy on Dean’s face before he changed the subject. Sam did his best to listen and ignore the heat pooling in his stomach. Not the time for an inappropriate boner. He’d deal with the weird reaction later.

 

********

The found a motel after the sun had gone down. They were still in Nowhere, Indiana, with no leads on any of the other horsemen. The best thing would be to get with Bobby to see if he had a line on any demon signs or anything. Dean had gone out for the evening, and Sam stayed back to do some internet research. 

After two exhausting and very boring hours of reading through hacked police reports and online newspapers, Sam gave up. It was still early, so Dean would probably be out for another few hours. Sam was lonely and missing Gabriel. He didn’t want to think about it. The distraction of research wasn’t working, so he justified a search of some porn sites for a little relaxation. No shame in that. 

So what if he was looking for Casa Erotica 13. It was just to see if what was posted online was like what they had on the dvd. But try as he might, he couldn’t locate it on any sites. 

Sam leaned back in his chair. The disk was still in the drive. He tapped his fingers on the desk. He knew she shouldn’t want to watch the rest of the porno; it had given him a sharp jab of jealousy, but…

He tapped the play button on his keyboard. It was still at the point in the film where Sam had shut his laptop. Gabriel was on top of the woman on the bed, sucking on one of her full and perky nipples. She was writhing around and moaning, thrusting her hands in Gabe’s long hair. Sam gritted his teeth together and reached out to shut it again.

Gabriel sat up on the bed and faced the camera. He smirked and held up his hand snapping his fingers. The large-breasted woman vanished from the bed. Gabe clasped his hands in front of him. 

“Sam, if you’re watching this, make sure you do it alone. I’ll wait.” Gabe started humming and looking at his fingernails, waiting for the hypothetical Dean to leave the room. A few seconds passed before Sam recognized the tune. Of course that was when the archangel broke into song.

_”It was the heeeeat of the moment…”_ he crooned at the camera, with exaggerated hand motions. Sam broke out into relieved giggles. 

Gabe quieted and looked down at his hands. “Sam. I-” he paused and looked up, right into Sam’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I hope by now you have figured out..um...well, you know,” he leaned forward with a conspiratorial whisper, “I’m not dead.” Gabe sat back and looked back at his hands. Sam had never seen him look so vulnerable. 

“Sam, I hope you’ll be okay. Buuuut...I need to disappear now. Most of the future depends on my not interfering with you and your brother’s choices. I’m pretty sure Lucifer can’t be killed, hell look at me! Takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.” Gabriel paused and ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t promise I can come to your rescue, but if you uh, want to, I can still hear prayers.” 

The camera angle changed, and Gabriel turned to it with a smirk. “And now,” he said with an eyebrow wiggle, “I’m gonna give you a real show.”

Gabriel stood and snapped his fingers. His clothing disappeared and he lay back on the bed in a cheesy reclined position like he was having glamor shots taken. Sam inhaled sharply at the display and he looked around guiltily. The room was still empty, of course. Sam hit pause and stood quickly. He divested his pants and shirt at lightening speed and grabbed his computer and headed for the bed. He set the laptop on a pillow next to him so he could watch hands-free.

He pressed the spacebar to start it up again.

“You comfortable yet, Sammy?” Gabriel asked into the camera. It was so on point, Sam wondered for a moment if this was an illusion or just Gabriel knowing him well enough. It could be either.

Gabe cocked an eyebrow. “Well get comfortable, because this is going to last a while.” Sam’s already half-mast erection began to thicken and swell as he shivered at the words. 

Gabriel took the hand not propping him up on his side and trailed his fingers down his chest, pausing to roll his nipples in his fingertips. He moaned at the sensation. His fingers wandered further and he wrapped his long delicate fingers around his cock, which was already hard and leaking. There was no music playing in the background, so Sam could hear all the little sighs and moans he was making. The archangel shook with the pleasure his fingers were supplying. He began to stroke lightly, and Sam could see, if he leaned to look closely, Gabe’s pupils growing and his skin flushing. 

Sam began to copy his movements, and figured he better slow it down a little, because seeing Gabe like this made him want to come right then. The archangel laying out like a buffet and filming himself just for Sam made him so turned on that he had to stop stroking and grip the base of his dick to keep from it ending embarrassingly early. 

Gabe snapped his fingers again and a varied assortment of sex toys appeared on the bed next to him. He looked back up into the camera and winked. He sat up and propped himself against the headboard, still slowly stroking himself. He trailed his hands over the vibrators and dildos and a few things Sam didn’t recognize, and seemed to be making a selection. His fingers finally settled on a larger rubber dildo and plucked it of the bed, wiggling it a little for the camera. 

“This about the same size as you, Sammy?” he asked with a lascivious grin in a husky voice.

Sam sucked in a breath and his heart stuttered and his skin grew hotter. He had to keep his hand still. He considered hitting pause again and finishing quickly and just watching again in a half an hour, but he really really wanted to see Gabe use that thing on himself. Even though the very idea was keeping Sam on the edge.

Still stroking his cock, his thumb swiping the tip and spreading the fluid down his shaft, Gabriel brought the large pink dildo to his lips and licked. He closed his eyes and ran his tongue around the head. He sucked the head into his mouth and pulled it out with a pop. Sam was starting to sweat.

Gabe was meanwhile spreading his legs and pulling his knees up. He continued to lick and suck the rubber cock, finally thrusting it down his throat. Sam had to pause the video just to get himself under control again. It was ridiculous how hard he was, but he wanted to come when Gabriel did, and dammit he was going to make it. He took deep breaths and held the heat at bay. Staying on the edge of orgasm was something he had never had to try before, but it was really amping up the experience. He waited patiently until he was calm enough to resume stroking lightly. He hit play again.

Gabriel was moaning around the dildo and thrusting it in and out of his mouth. He released his cock and reached lower, sliding down the headboard so Sam got a more direct view of what he was about to do. He began to run his forefinger over his perineum and further down to his puckered hole. He pressed, not pushing in yet, and moaned. He took his hand away and reached for a small bottle on the bed. He set the dildo down and clicked open the cap, pouring some over his fingers. He dropped the bottle and moved his fingers back to his hole, grabbing his cock with his other hand, but only to squeeze it at the base. As if he was having difficulty not coming as well.

Sam felt a surge of desire and an intense longing to be there with him. He watched as Gabe circled his opening, and finally, slowly, slid his finger in. He threw his head back and gasped, mouth hung open. His face was flushed and a sheen of sweat was covering his chest as he pushed the finger in slowly all the way, and pulled it back out again. He thrusted it in and out a few times.

Sam shifted down a bit and decided if Gabe was going to do it, then he should too. Sam didn’t have a lot of experience with anal stimulation, but he had heard it made orgasms super intense, so he might as well see what the hype was about. He watched for a moment and hit pause again. He jumped from the bed, his cock bobbing, and rummaged through his duffel bag. He came up with a bottle of lube, but had no subsitute for the massive rubber cock Gabe had been sucking on. He shivered at the thought. It was probably for the best since it was his first time fingering himself.

He hopped up onto the bed and looked at the paused image. He needed to catch up with Gabe, and keep from hurting himself. He decided to rewind a few minutes where Gabe was sucking on the Sam-sized dildo and go from there. Sam hit play and settled back with the lube. He applied a liberal amount to his first two fingers. He stroked his cock a few times and touched his asshole experimentally. Pleasure shot through him. The naughty way it made him feel was intense and hot. He pressed a little, trying to relax. He stroked himself a little harder, and pushed in a fingertip. It felt weird, but didn’t exactly hurt, so he pushed a little further and waited for his muscles to unclench around his finger. When he felt comfortable, he pushed in further. 

He looked up at the monitor and gasped at what Gabriel was doing. The angel had two fingers buried in himself, pumping in and out furiously and hissing and moaning. Sam stared with his mouth open, mesmerized. Gabe paused and pressed a third finger in, stretching his hole a little more. Sam leaned closer as the camera zoomed in on his fingers disappearing in and out, his hole puffy and bright pink. Sam felt a line of drool leave the corner of his mouth. 

Sam sat back again as he realized he had sunk his whole finger into himself while he watched Gabe. He removed it and added more lube. He pushed back in again and started pumping. The pleasure burned a little but felt so fucking good. He paused the computer again and rewound again to the point where Gabe had added the third finger. As he watched Gabriel push that third finger in again, Sam pushed in his second. The feeling intensified. His mouth hung open and he felt his eyes unfocused as he pumped in and out and twisted. He was back to holding the base of his cock again, and turned his attention back to Gabe. 

Gabriel was done stretching himself out and pulled his fingers out with an obscene wet sound. He picked up the rubber cock, and after a few gratuitous licks and sucks on it, looking dead into the camera, he poured more lube onto it. He turned over onto all fours and raised his ass so Sam could see his stretched opening. It throbbed and Sam let out a whimper, pushing his fingers in further before pulling them out and raising a leg and rolling to his side to push them in from behind. He could hit a better angle from that way and pushed in further. He arched his back as his fingers brushed a small nub. He gasped and breathed heavily and waited for the waves of intense pleasure to subside. He reached a trembling finger over to pause the video again. 

When he was breathing normally again, he rewound the last few seconds and watched with fascination as the slicked dildo pushed against Gabe’s hole. Sam thought there was no way that it would fit, but Gabe kept pushing and Sam’s hips bucked forward and then back onto his fingers instinctively as it breached Gabe’s ring of muscle and slowly slid into place. Gabriel was moaning out Sam’s name and pushing it in further. Sam’s legs spread further apart and twisted so he could grip his cock awkwardly and stroke furiously. He watched the dildo pull out slowly then slam back in, causing the angel to cry out. The camera pulled back and Sam could see Gabe’s face again. He looked wrecked. His lips puffy and red from biting them and his eyes wild and pupils blown wide. His mouth hung open and his tongue flicked out and wet his lip every once in awhile as he looked over his shoulder in the direction of his hand and his ass. 

Gabriel sped up the dildo, pumping harder, rocking back on his knees and plunging it in harder. Sam synchronized his fingers with it, and sped up the hand on his cock. He was so close now, and riding the edge of euphoria. He wouldn’t come until Gabriel did, though. He wanted to see his come pump out of him and the splatter it made as it hit the sheets. 

The camera angle changed again, so Sam could see Gabe, still on all fours, from the side. He slowed down and, to Sam’s astonishment, pulled the dildo slowly out, groaning. He sat back on his heels and grabbed something off the bed. Sam watched, stilling his hands too, as Gabe attached what looked like a large suction cup to the balls end of the rubber cock. He furrowed his eyes, not knowing where this was going. Gabe took the cock and licked the suction cup and stuck it to the bed’s headboard with a smack. It stuck there and bobbed slightly. Gabe turned to the camera and flicked an eyebrow and slowly backed up. Sam’s eyes widened in shock as Gabe slowly impaled himself backward onto the pink rubber cock. The sound coming from Gabe’s mouth were unreal, and Sam almost cried at the wave of painful pleasure that rocketed through him. It was torture trying not to come. He figured he could have gotten off af gotten hard again three times by now.

Gabriel’s eyes rolled back as he rocked back onto it. He had a free hand to start stroking his cock, and Sam watched him fuck into his hand and push back on the dildo alternately. Sam started moving his hands again and prayed Gabriel would come soon because he couldn’t keep it up much longer. As if he heard Sam, Gabe sped up, and was grunting and moaning out Sam’s name. The camera zoomed in on Gabe’s face for a moment and Sam felt his balls draw impossibly tight. Gabriel was panting and gasping, reduced to Enochian syllables and stutters of Sam’s name. The camera moved back to show a front angle so Sam could see Gabe’s face and his hand on his cock. The thrusts were starting to lose rhythm, and Gabe’s eyes were rolling back in his head. Sam was so close his vision was starting to get fuzzy on the edges. Gabriel thrust once more and opened his eyes and looked directly into the camera and into Sam’s eyes and whispered, “Come for me, Sam.”

Sam came hard, shouting, “Fuck! Oh..oh Gabriel! Oh god, fuck, fuck, fuck…” His semen spilled over his hand and spurted on the bed and pillow. Gabe was coming too, thick streams of come spilling over his fist and streaking on the tacky hotel bedspread. 

Sam pulled his fingers from his body with a grimace. He was sure he would feel that for a few days. He watched, panting, as Gabe pulled himself off the mounted dildo and collapsed onto the bed face first. He laid there breathing heavily. After a few moments, Gabe propped himself up on his elbows and looked into the camera again.

“Well, Sammy,” he said, half-smile on his face, “I hope that was as good for you as it was for me. I’ll miss you…” his voice waivered and Sam could swear he saw Gabriel’s eyes look watery. “I...um, you know,” he said nervously, “ I really…” he seemed to rethink what he was saying. “I’ll see you on the flip side, kiddo.” With that, the screen went blank, showing Sam’s reflection looking back at him. He touched his face with his cleanest hand and felt tears. He breathed shakily. “Me too, Gabe,” he whispered, “me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
> 
> That got dirtier than I expected. What a pleasant surprise.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam prays to Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is nothing but a big ball of angst. 
> 
> I'm sad right now. 
> 
> These boys need to get their shit together.
> 
> Also a bunch of season 6-9 spoilers. Like specific ones.

May 6, 2010

_Gabriel, uh, angel of the lord, I beseech thee…_  
Whatever. I’m not sure how to do this or if you’ll actually hear this, but I have to try anyway.   
I’m scared. I have to do something, something monumentally stupid, but it’s the only way. We’ve tried every angle, and we have all the rings now, but we can’t come up with a way to actually get Lucifer to jump in. 

_That’s where I come in. I think I… No, I know I can do this. I’m going to say yes to Lucifer. I think I can carry him and take over when I need to. I think I can be that strong._

_Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but I have this feeling like I’ve done it already. And I was able to expel him. Maybe it was just a dream, but I know what to do. And I need you to help me._

_In my dream, you found me. You saved me from Lucifer, and showed me how to take control of my body again._

_I know you can’t actually be there, but send me strength or something. I don’t know. Who knows if you can even hear me?_

_The biggest problem is that I’m going to have to drink demon blood again. Like, a lot of demon blood. And that’s what scares me the most. I wish you were here to hold my hand and tell me it’s going to be okay, but I know you have to stay hidden...aaaaand that makes me sound like a 12 year old._

_Who knows, maybe if I royally fuck this up, the world will end and maybe Lucifer will spit my soul out and I’ll end up in Heaven? I guess not, since I’m hosting the devil in the big fight. The god squad probably won’t want me around._

_Promise me that you’ll look for me? That wherever I end up, you’ll come get me? I’ll feel better about what I have to do if I know you will come get me again._

_Anyway, I uh...I miss you. I think about you all the time._

_Amen._

********

February 7, 2011

_Gabriel. I hope you’re listening. I’m in trouble. Something happened when I was in the cage. Well I guess a whole lot of something happened while I was in the cage with Lucifer and Michael._

_Cas pulled me out right away, but he left my soul behind. I guess it was easier for me to be like that. No soul and not caring and moving around like a machine. Hunting like a machine._

_Well, anyway, at some point Dean made a deal with Death- yeah, I know, right?- and he pulled my soul out and dumped it back in my body. He built a wall so I wouldn’t remember the, uh, bad things from the cage, but it started to fall apart._

_I’m locked in the panic room in Bobby’s basement right now. Feels like the good ol’ days._

_I’m starting to remember and it’s scaring the shit out of me. I don’t want to remember. Please help me not remember. I need you, Gabe. Please._

_I know it’s a shot in the dark, but I hope you can hear me. I pray to your dad too, but I always feel guilty about it. Because I’m the boy with the demon blood._

_I don’t know. I just miss you. You always made me feel like I mattered. Like I wasn’t just a vessel or an abomination. Like I was important._

_I need you Gabe, I think about you all the time._

_Amen._

********

March 23, 2012

_Gabriel, I hope you’re listening. I know it’s been a while, but I haven’t exactly been alone until now...not really._

_Cas kinda went nuts and became god for a minute there, and I know he probably didn’t mean to, but he broke the wall in my mind. To be fair, I did actually stab him. And now there’s no one to put the wall in my mind back up. I’m sure you know about Cas already- the angels are pretty pissed about the whole thing, I’m guessing._

_Well, I started hallucinating Lucifer. He’s alway here. He keeps me awake, and he’s listening right now, mocking me for praying to you, saying you’re dead. Maybe you are, maybe he killed you after all._

_Long story short, Cas died. He walked into a river and… He’s gone. Dean’s a complete mess, and I’m in no shape to help him. He loved Cas, you know? Way more than he would ever admit. He’s drinking again, and I’m too weak and tired to know what to do._

_He needs Cas. He’s lost without him. We never found his vessel, so there is a slim chance he’s out there somewhere. But I would never say that to Dean; I can’t give him hope only to let it crush him in the end._

_On the off chance you’re still alive? Please, I could really use your help. Can you look for Cas? Can you bring him back? I have never seen Dean in so much pain, even after he came back from hell. I’m completely useless right now. To be honest, I’m in a psych hospital. I haven’t slept in so long and they have me loaded up on meds…_

_Just...I need you. Please, find Cas, bring him back to Dean. He is lost without him._

_Just like I’m lost without you._

_Amen._

********

June 2012

_Gabriel._

_This is difficult for me. I keep praying to you, but I can’t be sure that you hear me. Maybe you do. I think I wish you could hear me so much that I imagine you’re helping behind the scenes. Like when I prayed in the hospital and Dean showed up with Cas right as the demons were going to fry my brain. I was so sure that wasn’t a coincidence._

_Things have changed again. Dean and Cas are both gone. And I don’t even know where to begin to look for them. I’d ask you for help, but I had promised Dean to move on if he died. To quit hunting and settle down, all his idealized “apple pie life” that he failed at._

_The problem is that I’ve never wanted anyone the way I wanted you. But I don’t get to have you.  
I can’t keep torturing myself, hoping you will finally return to me. For the love of god, I’ve been reading Supernatural fan fiction online. You know the books Chuck the prophet was writing? Yeah, well people write stories based on the characters- us, specifically- and pair them up...um...sexually. I kinda have been reading the Gabriel/Sam ones a little obsessively. It’s actually pretty sad and lonely. I need to stop. I have to move on. _

_I met a girl. She is...nice. Things are simple with her. She has a large heart and works with animals. An actual person and not a supernatural being. Not my usual type, ha ha, but clearly my usual type only ends in heartbreak._

_I can’t keep waiting for you to show up. It’s killing me. I have to move on and forget. Dean, Cas, my parents, Bobby, you...everyone I care about is dead. I have no more family or friends left. I am all alone._

_I miss you. And part of me will always love you._

_Amen._

********

May 22, 2013

_Gabriel. I...uh...I’m-  
I don’t know how to say this. It’s been a long time since I’ve prayed to you. And maybe it’s useless to even try, because of how I left things…_

_I’m dying. We found these...tablets. I’m sure you know about them. Metatron- I’m sure you know about him too- has been helpful, and now we have the opportunity to close the gates of Hell._

_Cool, right?_

_Maybe not so cool. I’m no longer sure why I’m doing this. If it’s for the benefit of the world- no more demons, no more Crowley, no more risk of Lucifer ever finding me again- or if it’s because I’m just too tired of fighting and I want it to be over._

_I guess it’s just my turn to jump on the grenade? I really don’t know. Maybe it’s more like falling on my sword._

_Anyway, I’m here with the demon Crowley who took over Hell and who’s been giving us trouble for some time. I’m attempting to cure him. Sounds very altruistic, but I assure you, seeing him suffer and become human again is really satisfying._

_I’m a few more shots away from curing him totally. Shots of my blood. And when this is complete, I’ll be dead._

_If you’re up there, I need you to come find me when this is over. Please. Come find me in my Heaven. Maybe you can stay with me a while._

_I miss you. It seems like a lifetime ago since I’ve seen you, but something in my gut tells me you’re still out there somewhere. When Jess died, I knew she was gone. When dad died, I knew he was gone too. For some reason, I can’t accept that you could ever really die._

_I’d like to think you’re not ignoring me, but have to stay silent to keep youself safe. To keep us safe. To look out for us in your own way, the way you always have._

_I love you. I’ll see you soon._

_Amen._

********

February 4, 2014

_Gabe._  
I know this is pointless to even pray now, but whatever.  
Wherever you are- whether you fell out of the sky like all the other angels, or you were never there to begin with- fuck you. 

_Where were you?_

_When Dean let Gadreel possess me?_

_When Dean took the Mark of Cain?_

_When Cas was all alone- when Dean broke his heart and made him leave the bunker?_

_Cas is your brother, man, if you don’t look out for him, who will? All the angels are out for blood and they blame Cas for being cast out of Heaven. It wasn’t his fault. He needs you. He is broken and alone and…_

_And he’s not the only one._

_I can’t sleep. I’m lying here, desperate to fall asleep hoping I’ll dream about you. I do all the time, you know, but you never dreamwalk me._

_Why do I even bother. You don’t give a fuck about me anyway._

_See you around, or not, jerk._

_Amen._

********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sobbing*
> 
> Hey leave me a comment or something. I am actually sad this week and need a few kind words would really help.
> 
> Thanks
> 
> More less angsty stuff soon.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabe pulls a dick move  
> ~or~  
> Metatron is the bigger dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still hurting for a beta. 
> 
> Pardon my errors, I'm just writing for fun and to fix plot holes with Sabriel and a dash of Destiel.

Gabriel watched as Sam sat down in the booth behind him with Dean. The hunter went through the normal routine of explaining to his oblivious brother that it was Tuesday, again, and that Dean would die sometime that day. His voice was defeated and Gabe felt the gaping hole in his chest grow wider.

Gabe snapped his fingers. The scene froze and he stood, turning slowly and walking over to the table the Winchesters shared. He lightly ran his finger along Sammy’s frozen jawline, the sadness almost becoming unbearable.

He sighed and hung his head. He wondered when exactly this quit being fun for him. He wasn’t really sure when this ever _was_ fun for him. 

Gabriel snapped his fingers again. He was back at the campus building he met Sam in, dressed in his janitor suit. He led the brothers up the stairs and let them enter the deceased professor’s office. He shared a flirty moment with Sam, basically running over lines again. It never changed. 

Unless he changed it. 

And he had, at first. He would confess his love to Sam after eating pancakes at the diner. He would find Sam at the campus bar and take him home. He would hold him and try to feel something. But he knew it wasn’t right. It wasn’t really Sam.

It was just a memory. It was just an echo of things that had already came to pass. And it was less of Heaven and more like Hell every day. 

Gabriel had thought that hiding out in Heaven was a brilliant idea. He could create his own little pocket universe and not have to keep up the strength to do it. He was in the power source, so he should have had everything he needed. But he didn’t. He really only needed one thing, and it wouldn’t be in Heaven anytime soon. Like seriously? How many times was that kid going to come back from the dead?

Gabe had done his best to stay away. But after he left the hotel, the prayers had started up. It was painful to hear, but Gabe knew it was for the best. He did slip up and help the hunters out a few times, but no one knew about it except Castiel of course.

It was actually Gabriel who had gone to Cas after hearing Sam’s prayer explaining that he would say yes to Lucifer and asked the Cas to agree to the plan. And to help convince Dean. Gabe knew that was something he could help with- and Sam would never have to know about it.

He and Cas pulled Sam out of the cage as soon as they could, but after they fought their way through demons and fire, something happened and Sam’s soul got left behind. It devastated Gabe that Sam had no soul, but the archangel had to go back into hiding immediately after the search and rescue operation, because he wasn’t sure if he’d been seen. There were still thousands of Lucifer loyalists around, and he couldn’t risk it. All it would take was a threat to Gabriel’s life, and Sam would do anything they asked. He would become Lucifer’s vessel again, and they would be essentially fucked.

Gabe snapped his fingers again. He stood in the motel room where Sam had been left behind by his father and Dean for a hunt when he was only 8. He was alone for 3 days, and was terrified. Sam had prayed that time too, prayed really hard, to keep the monsters away and keep his dad and Dean safe. He asked that angels surround him and keep him safe. Gabriel knew John Winchester didn’t believe in angels, but Sam sure did. 

Gabriel happened to be in the area when Sam prayed that time. It was vague enough a prayer that it was sent on angel radio and heard it. 

He popped in and saw little Sam, the youngest Winchester, the boy with the demon blood, praying. It struck Gabriel that even though this poor kid was tainted, he was so innocently devout. He believed in angels and God, and that they could and would protect him from the monsters of the world.

So long ago. Gabe sighed and looked at the memory sadly. If only that little Sam had known that they all were monsters. The only real good guys were those who fought on the side of the humans, and those were few and far between. 

Gabriel opened the door to the motel room and left young Sam behind. He returned to home base- a small, plain, apartment with a recliner and tv. His dog Sammy danced excitedly around his legs as he walked in. Gabe scooped him up and nuzzled him for a moment before plunking down in his chair and flipping on the television. A million channels and nothing was on.

********

_Gabriel. I...uh...I’m-  
I don’t know how to say this. It’s been a long time since I’ve prayed to you. And maybe it’s useless to even try, because of how I left things…_

Gabriel woke with a jerk. Sammy jumped off his lap and huffed at him before going to see if there was food in his bowl. Gabriel sat at attention and waited for the voice to continue.

_I’m dying. We found these...tablets. I’m sure you know about them. Metatron- I’m sure you know about him too- has been helpful, and now we have the opportunity to close the gates of Hell._

_Cool, right?_

_Maybe not so cool. I’m no longer sure why I’m doing this. If it’s for the benefit of the world- no more demons, no more Crowley, no more risk of Lucifer ever finding me again- or if it’s because I’m just too tired of fighting and I want it to be over._

_I guess it’s just my turn to jump on the grenade? I really don’t know. Maybe it’s more like falling on my sword._

_Anyway, I’m here with the demon Crowley who took over Hell, and who’s been giving us trouble for some time. I’m attempting to cure him. Sounds very altruistic, but I assure you, seeing him suffer and become human again is really satisfying._

_I’m a few more shots away from curing him totally. Shots of my blood. And when this is complete, I’ll be dead._

_If you’re up there, I need you to come find me when this is over. Please. Come find me in my Heaven. Maybe you can stay with me a while._

_I miss you. It seems like a lifetime ago since I’ve seen you, but something in my gut tells me you’re still out there somewhere. When Jess died, I knew she was gone. When dad died, I knew he was gone too. For some reason, I can’t accept that you could ever really die._

_I’d like to think you’re not ignoring me, but have to stay silent to keep youself safe. To keep us safe. To look out for us in your own way, the way you always have._

_I love you. I’ll see you soon._

 

Gabriel’s heart was thudding in his chest. His whole body was shaking. He brought his hand to his mouth, eyes open and staring. 

He had messed up. Messed up so bad. Hiding here was stupid, and selfish. He had justified it to himself for so long that he believed it _was_ for the best, and either Sam would get over him and move on, or Gabriel’s very human-acting heart would heal. But nothing changed. Sam kept praying. There would be long gaps of silence, but he always eventually would reach out to Gabe only to be ignored.

And now Sam’s was going to kill himself doing this ritual. And it was all Gabriel’s fault. Nausea gripped his gut and he doubled over. 

Something was happening. Pain was spreading from his core, causing him to cringe. It intensified, his mind going blank as white-hot light burned through him- up and back and to his wings. He screamed in pain, flailing, trying to escape. The room around him shimmered and disappeared. He didn’t notice. He was being pulled up by his wings, the pain growing and growing. He could hear other voices, screaming in agony; the Host was being attacked and all were crying out for help. Many were calling for their Father, and Gabe thought in a detached way that maybe Chuck would come and rescue them, but his faith in his father had been shaken. 

The floor dropped out from under him. The wind rushed around, freezing cold and loud in his ears. He pulled his wings out to their full span, but nothing happened. He twisted to look at them, gaping in horror as they caught fire and he began to spiral down to the earth. As he twisted helplessly through the air, he saw his brothers and sisters- thousands and thousands of them- spiraling to the ground, flames and embers eating through their beautiful wings. The cries were unbearable. Gabe shut his eyes and uselessly put his hands over his ears, trying to block out the pain the Host felt. He could feel it anyway, and it was deep and profound.

********

He couldn’t remember hitting the ground. He didn’t remember what he saw before he hit, to give him any idea where he was. 

Gabe slowly sat up and looked around. He rubbed his neck, wincing. He had landed in the woods, causing a major crater in the dirt and trees around him. His clothing was ragged and charred from burning up in the atmosphere, but at least his favorite vessel was still intact. He looked up to the sky. He had landed where it was daylight, and the brightness made him squint. 

He couldn’t hear his brothers and sisters screaming anymore, mostly the volume had been turned down enough on their gentle confused sobbing and questions that he could tune it out completely. 

Gabriel braced himself mentally and turned to look at the damage. His once beautiful wings were in tatters. They felt broken, but not completely burned. He flexed them, and cried out as pain shot through the muscles. He took several gulps of air and squeezed his eyes shut before pushing them back into the ether. They would have a better chance of healing on that plane. 

Slowly he stood, brushing leaves and dirt out of his hair. He held his fingers up and snapped, but nothing happened. Cold seized his chest. He tried again. Then again. But nothing. Pushing the panic down, Gabe breathed deeply and started to walk. No doubt his crash to earth would have attracted attention so he needed to get moving right away. 

He was afraid, but this wasn’t the first time he’d been cut off from his power, so he knew he could survive. He was mostly concerned for his poor brothers and sisters- some had never left Heaven since the dawn of time, and others had never had to try and obtain a vessel. There were hundreds circling the sky, looking for someone to allow them to possess them, not knowing how to ask. It was very confusing for them and it broke Gabriel’s heart. He fell useless. He had failed his family. Again.

And now Sam. If Sam was dead, he would never forgive himself. What if he couldn’t get into Heaven because it seemed to shut. Gabe couldn’t hear anything from beyond the gates, or feel his mojo powering up. He wondered in irritation who was the big idiot who did it this time. 

********

Hours later, Gabe still was surrounded by woods. He could be in Alabama or Russia. There was no telling. He looked around at the flora and fauna, wishing he had payed more attention during Creation. He even tried to think back to when Chuck and Dean were dragging him around the Appalachian mountains. He should have paid more attention and complained less. 

The trees around him were huge. Like, really really big. Were most trees this tall? Gabe stopped and looked up at the expansive canopy, pondering. This looked familiar. Not many places had trees this size. Especially ones you could drive a car through.

Gabe came to the a road and nodded his head decisively. He knew exactly where he was. Redwoods. He had filmed a porn in this park once, several decades ago when women showing ankle was still pretty scandalous. He smiled, relieved. He could easily hitchhike his way into the nearest city. He still had plenty of contacts in the industry, he was sure someone would come get him. 

********

It had been a few months since the fall, and Gabriel had yet to run into any of his family. He didn’t suppose many of them would be inclined to show up on the set of a porn shoot in West Hollywood, but he couldn’t be too sure. There was alway the off-chance that an angel would stumble into the studio accidentally, so he tried to keep a low profile. 

He still kept an eye out for Cas. His little bro could be counted on to make the news, s he shouldn’t have been very hard to find. Gabe put a few feelers out and learned that Sam was indeed still alive, and now holed up somewhere in Kansas. Gabriel didn’t have near the power he did before, but he was able to convince a girl he worked with (she was half Fairy on her mother’s side) to hack a few Homeland Security sites to track Sam’s whereabouts using facial recognition. 

He had been fortunate enough to be allowed back into the business when he was. The producers of _Casa Erotica_ were in a forgiving mood, especially since they had discovered an unedited version of Sam’s special message from a few years ago. They had dismissed the confusing fourth wall break, and held on to footage in case he showed back up and signed a release for them to use it. He had run his contract out some years prior and had managed to write his own, stipulating that any footage of him used would have to be approved, or his lawyers would dismantle their operation and he would own them. The producers were very careful with this, and if Gabe had used a little of his mojo to make sure they followed his orders, no one was really harmed by it, so whatever. 

Gabriel insisted that the footage of his solo show to Sam be kept under lock and key, and if it was ever released to the public, heads would roll. They agreed, of course, but had been so impressed by it that they offered him a job directing. He readily accepted, more than happy to not be acting again- it felt like cheating. He couldn’t do that to Sam. It would hurt him too much. Even if Sam wanted nothing to do with him anymore, Gabe would rather die that cause him any more harm. Besides, that was a private show, for Sam’s eyes only. Gabe often wondered if Sam still watched it every once in awhile. 

 

Gabriel held his hand up and yelled, “Cut!”

The actors looked his way and nodded, standing up. The blonde woman reached for her robe, smiling and complimenting her partner. They chatted while Gabe spoke with the crew about lining up the next shot. He gave specific instructions to the performers and had the light settings checked a few more times before setting up the scene where the pizza delivery guy came in. 

When everyone was on their mark, they started filming again. The doorbell sound effect cued, and the blonde got up from between the brunette’s legs and walked naked, in heels, to answer the door. The pizza man was one of Gabe’s regulars, and he was always at the ready, even without the use of viagra. His cock was straining in the tiny blue shorts he wore, and he was grinning like an idiot. Gabe yelled cut again, and lectured the actor about his facial expressions being a bit creepy and he needed to look surprised. Gabriel stopped mid-sentence. He cocked his ear, listening. There was a sound coming from outside the studio. He looked around the room, and everyone was staring at him, but no one seemed to be hearing it. He shook his head slightly, and called for a 5 minute break.

Blue Shorts whined about his erection, but Gabe waved him away, intent on finding the source of the sound. 

Gabriel stepped outside the studio door. It was louder out there, but as he squinted in the brightness of the noonday sun, he still couldn’t locate the source of the sound. Out of habit, Gabe spread his wings. With a crushing wave of sorrow, he turned to look at them. They were still in tatters, but the open wounds had long since closed and healed to scars. He folded them back again and strode to the parking lot where his Ferrari was parked. He clicked the fob and hopped in, and tore out of the lot, tires squealing.

It was an hour later, sitting in traffic on the 101, that Gabriel lost his patience. The sound was louder now, and the pitch was grating yet familiar. Gabe shook his head and came to himself for a moment. Wait, what was this? He knew he had heard it before. For sure. He had to find the source of it, and soon. He sighed in relief when traffic started moving again. 

He pulled into the parking lot of a warehouse in Van Nuys. Looking around suspiciously, he approached the building slowly. On instinct, he pulled his blade as he walked to the entrance. The sound was ear-splittingly loud now, and he winced as he opened the door. 

Gabriel stood in a large room, lined with windows. On the far wall was a large sigil drawn in blood on the wall. He squinted at it and walked slowly toward it. He could smell burning griffin feathers and fairy bones. He stopped mid-step and gaped. It was his name. His name was mapped out on the wall, with a surrounding piece he didn’t recognize. But he knew the sound now. It was the horn. The horn that hadn’t been discovered in this timeline yet, the one that he used to defeat Lucifer’s army in the other one. He needed to break the sigil before others were drawn to it. 

Gabriel broke into a run, feet flying across the pavement, his breath coming out in ragged gasps. A voice suddenly yelled, “Stop!” causing him to slide to a halt, only a few feet away from his goal. He looked around with wild eyes, finding a small man with curly black hair and a snaggletooth smile regarding him calmly from the shadows. Gabriel turned, sword held in front, ready to fight.

The man, no- _angel_ , slowly walked forward. His grin turning into an arrogant smirk.

“Gabriel, I presume,” he said, “it is good to see you old friend.”

Gabe cocked an eyebrow, finally recognizing the angel in front of him.   
“Enoch,” he said coolly, “yeah, it’s been a while. You still collecting romance novels and hiding out in casinos?” Gabe took a step closer. “Wait, your wings are intact? How’d you swing that? Weren’t you cut off from Heaven too?”

The angel held up a condescendingly placating hand. “Please,” he said, “I go by Metatron now. I have a proposal for you, Gabriel. It might behoove you you to consider it.”

Gabe narrowed his eyes. “It might behoove you to shut the fuck up and tell me how it is that you’ve still got your wings,” he said, voice lowering dangerously.

Metatron lowered his hands and looked down his nose at the archangel. “I was hoping we could do this easy way,” he said with a sniff, “but it’s clear we’re going to have to do it the easier way.”

A flair of fire started at Gabe’s feet and quickly surrounded him, trapping him in place. He lowered his blade, his jaw set in fury. He swore if he got out of the holy fire trap, he’d smite the ever living fuck out of the smarmy bastard with whatever mojo he had left.

“Just calm down, Gabriel, we have much to discuss.” Metatron pointed at the floor and a chair appeared and he sat down. It was a wingback velvet number, looking very out of place in the dingy warehouse. 

Metatron sat back and tented his fingers under his chin and crossed his legs. Gabriel felt extremely stabby. Like stab-in-the-eyeball stabby. 

“Well now, I guess we start at the beginning. Hold on,” he said, snapping his fingers and silencing the sigil, “That’s better. Now I can hear myself think.” He leaned forward in his seat and regarded Gabriel with a serious face. 

“I have decided, for the benefit of the Host, of course, that there needs to be some changes in management in Heaven. The first thing I needed to do was clear out the riff raff, and to do so, I had to expel everyone. It only made sense if we were going to rebuild, I would need to start over. I know it was hard at first, but I believe those plucky little angels are learning about humanity and gaining some humility along the way. It is my goal to- as the new God- to ensure that when they return to Heaven, they are willing to follow my leadership into a new era of greatness, one that hasn’t been seen since our Father left.” He shifted and sat back, tenting his fingers again.  
“And that’s where you come in.”

Gabriel’s mouth was hanging open in disbelief. He couldn’t believe the sheer arrogance dripping from this loser’s fish lips. No one could replace their Father, for the love of Dad, He wasn’t even completely gone! It had to be some sort of pathetic cry for attention. He rolled his eyes.

Metatron’s face colored. “Is there something you’d like to share with the class, Gabriel?” he asked, his calm demeanor cracking a little.

Gabriel smirked. “So you think you can use me to get the other angels on board to take over Heaven? Looks like you must have taken the brown acid, Charlie Manson, because what makes you think I’ll ever help some sniveling, low level secretary like you conquer Heaven? You’re not even qualified to run an Olive Garden, let alone the whole Host of angels. What makes you think that you can lead? Are you that full of yourself that you think you’re worthy enough to fill Dad’s shoes? Why would you even want to?”

Metatron looked him dead in the eye and said, “Because you won’t.”

Gabe felt the wind suck out of him. All his running and hiding from his responsibilities had finally caught up with him and were staring him in the face. He felt ashamed. He closed his mouth and looked at his shoes.

Metatron stood and walked closer to the ring, the fire casting strange shadows across his ugly face. “Gabriel,” he said softly, “It doesn’t have to be like this. You could repay your debt by helping me restore order to Heaven. You would be a hero! The others would forgive you easily, I mean, after all, you are the only archangel left and have the most power...besides me of course.” 

Gabriel looked up at him sharply. “What do you mean besides you?”

“I have a certain little tablet,” he said with a knowing smirk, “one that I transcribed, dictated by God Himself, that gives me specific instructions on how to run said Host and all it’s delicate nuances. I think with your help, we could restore it’s former glory.”

Gabriel felt his heart stop. If this douchebag had the tablet, he had more power that him and the other angels combined. That was beyond scary.

“What exactly do you want from me?” Gabe asked, “Rally the troops with some porn videos? Give them inspirational speeches loaded with the finest sarcasm and outdated pop culture references? No thanks, bucko, I’m fine down here on earth, doing my thing.”

Metatron smirked again, “But what about Sam?” Gabriel startled and tried to school his expression, but it was too late. 

Metatron’s smirk slowly grew into a leer. “Ah, I see I’ve struck a chord.” He held up a finger and then pulled something from the inner pocket of his jacket. 

It was a copy of _Casa Erotica 13,_ his personal love letter to Sam Winchester. Gabe knew he was fucked. All his fears about being used to get to Sam, and he never realized they could use Sam to get to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta have some bunker sex in here somewhere. I mean, bunker sex is the best. I got a few ideas.
> 
> Also upcoming Destiel angst. I haven't forgotten about them.
> 
> I'm very bitter about Robbie Thompson leaving.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Study in Angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally didn't bother editing this- at least I did spellcheck ;/
> 
>  
> 
> Anywaaaaay
> 
> Here's a thing

********

It had been a few days after the fall. Gabriel had hiked his way out of the Redwood National Forest, hitching a ride into Sacramento. He shoplifted some clean clothes and charmed his way into a nice hotel for free. The guy at the counter had done a double take when he saw Gabriel- it seemed his notoriety as a porn star could still get him things in California. The young man, Chad, as his nametag said, grinned foolishly at him and called him sir. It tickled Gabriel to no end that the guy would call him “sir” when most likely the last he saw of Gabe’s face was with a dick in his mouth- Hi-def color and sound. He didn’t want to stick around to find out. He took his key card with a smile and a wink, then walked away rolling his eyes. Being Jack Reacher was apparently still pretty lucrative.

Gabriel had reached out to push the elevator button when the prayer hit him.

_Gabe._  
I know this is pointless to even pray now, but whatever.  
Wherever you are- whether you fell out of the sky like all the other angels, or you were never there to begin with- fuck you. 

_Where were you?_

_When Dean let Gadreel possess me?_

_When Dean took the Mark of Cain?_

_When Cas was all alone- when Dean broke his heart and made him leave the bunker?_

_Cas is your brother, man, if you don’t look out for him, who will? All the angels are out for blood and they blame Cas for being cast out of Heaven. It wasn’t his fault. He needs you. He is broken and alone and…_

_And he’s not the only one._

_I can’t sleep. I’m lying here, desperate to fall asleep hoping I’ll dream about you. I do all the time, you know, but you never dreamwalk me._

_Why do I even bother. You don’t give a fuck about me anyway._

_See you around, or not, jerk._

_Amen._

Gabriel felt pretty close to vomiting on his shoes. A pretty brunette woman was staring at him, then finally reached around him to press the elevator button cautiously. He snapped out of it and apologized, holding his breath until he got to his room. He almost didn’t make it to the toilet before he threw up about a dozen donuts and three cherry popsicles. He dry heaved for a while, cursing this human shit he had to deal with. Fucking emotions. 

Wiping his mouth, he stood and caught his image in the mirror. He looked like absolute hell, and he felt ten times worse. Sam hated him. And he deserved it. He had hid when Sam needed him the most and justified it with weak excuses to cover the fear. This very rejection he was feeling was what he had been trying to avoid this whole time. 

He had pushed the feelings for Sam away and decided right then to try and re-establish his old life; to hide out in plain sight again. This was not the time to try and feel sorry or make amends, this was just a little blip on the timeline of history. The world would move on like it always did. 

And so what if Gabriel felt dead inside? Knowing that the prayers would probably stop meant he could stop thinking about Sam. He even wondered if he still had Kali’s number.

That was a bad sign.

********

Gabriel stared at the concrete wall in front of him. It all seemed very ironic that the guy claiming to be God would give him the same treatment he got from the devil.   
He went quietly in the end, agreeing to whatever Metatron wanted as long as Sam was safe. 

The only good thing about being locked up in Heaven was that instead of getting weaker, he was healing. Being so close to all the souls in Heaven had started to recharge his grace, and even his wings were looking better. Metadouche had made him turn his blade over, with promise to give it back, of course. Gabe trusted that guy as far as he could throw him. He figured his best move would be to play along and keep an eye out for a way to Steve McQueen this bitch. 

The conversation about the plan to trap and trick Castiel was one-sided. Gabe had to keep his face stoic and bored to keep from jumping the desk and breaking his foot off in Metatron’s ass. Of all things he could be blackmailed into doing, betraying his favorite little brother was the hardest. Cas trusted him- and now the angel would hate him too, just like Sam, when he figured out the ruse. Might as well, he deserved that too. He had abandoned Cas when he needed him most. It was a ridiculous request, really, tricking little Cassie into leading an army against the new fake God? It made no sense, but Gabriel had run out of fucks to give. 

The threat on Sam had been pretty clear. If Gabriel didn’t play along, when time came for Sam to kick the proverbial bucket, Metatron would ensure a one-way ticket to the pit. And give bonus points to the angel who could stuff Sam back in the box with Lucifer. Gabriel still had vivid memories about his and Cas’ impromptu rescue of Sam from the cage, and he couldn’t do that to him again. He wouldn't be able to live with himself. He’d sooner run himself through with his own blade than subject Sam be even being in the same room as Lucifer. No one could be that cruel. 

He thumbed through the script that one of Metatron's minions brought him in his cell. No one knew who he was; Metatron had somehow warded the cell to hide his identity. 

His parts seemed pretty easy- though the fourth wall break had been done to death. Gabe was annoyed with the contrived lines he had. It was clear Metadouche had read Chuck’s crap books (not that he’d ever tell his Dad that his books were crap) and plagiarized his Trickster persona. No big deal, just gotta get in, do the thing, and get out. 

A twinge of guilt burrowed its way into Gabriel’s gut again. But Cas would be okay. He got outta more shit than anyone Gabe knew- Dad put his ass back together like some kind of winged humpty dumpty on more than one occasion. Cas was the only one out of all of ‘em that actually gave a shit about the human race. Gabe prayed to his Dad for the first time in forever to keep his little brother safe. 

 

********

 

Things just became more odd as the night went on. Castiel squinted at Gabriel, not sure he heard him right. Gabriel was talking like Castiel had no idea what the horn of Gabriel did. Something was off, but Cas couldn’t pinpoint it yet. 

Driving to the bunker, Gabe seemed to open up about his role and how he needed to come out of hiding and take the helm in Heaven. Cas knew then that something was definitely wrong. It was completely out of character for Gabe to talk about _feelings,_ and that stuff about leading? Not even close. Gabriel was the black sheep and cared very little what the host thought of him. Cas knew his brother would not want the position of power he was suggestion. The safest thing to do at that point was to wait until they arrived at the bunker, and he would let Dean and Sam help him sort it out. 

They pulled over for gas and went inside to pay and for Gabe to get some snacks for the road. Cas had wondered if they had been followed, and he wasn’t wrong. They were ready to fight and Cas was being sent away, finally convinced that he must lead the angels in battle against Metatron. Which was exactly what Metatron wanted. 

Castiel pulled open his coat to stash his blade and saw it. The lining in his coat was whole; the tear from earlier in the evening was gone. He had been tricked. It all came together and he knew. Gabriel was being held hostage in Heaven. 

********

The moon was out, giving enough light to the rural highway that Sam suspected that if he turned off the headlights, he’d still be able to see the road. He glanced over at Dean- he had his face smashed against the car door, snoring quietly. Quirking a smile, Sam clicked off the headlights and coasted in the dark, the light on the asphalt shining silver. The shadows of the trees cut out perfect black silhouettes against the glowing pavement, and Sam felt peaceful. 

 

Something in the car pinged. Sam flicked on the lights again and looked down between the seats quickly. No phones there. He popped the glove box open and sifted through the throw away cell phones there, but none seemed to be powered on. He waited. A second ping came, and he realized it was coming from Dean’s shirt pocket. 

 

Sam very carefully reached over, eyes still on the road, and extracted the phone with two fingers like he was playing a game of operation. He had the phone out of the pocket, about to pull it to him when he fumbled and dropped it right on Dean’s leg. It bounced off and slid between the two seats, pinging one more time. Sam held still, waiting for Dean to wake up and curse him a little, but Dean just snorted in his sleep and scratched himself. Sam pulled a bitchface at him and dug around blindly trying to snag the phone again. 

 

Success! He pulled it out and flipped it open. It was a message from Cas, and Sam debated on waking Dean or not, but decided against it. Dean was worn out and Sam was enjoying the lack of Metallica at the time. 

 

Sam hit the voicemail button and held to his ear. 

_Dean, it's me. I'm…_  
There was muffled sound and Sam froze, straining to hear.  
 _Ho, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hands-free much? Both on the wheel. I'm precious cargo._  
Sam’s breath caught and felt dizzy. It couldn’t be.   
_Hey, what's up, shorties? Remember me, the guy who died for your sins? No, not the cat with the beard and sandals... the hot one. Hey, thank you so much for the flowers and condolences... really meant a lot to the fam. Any old how, your boy toy and I are rolling our way towards your top-secret domicile. Ooh! Call to discuss._

Sam slammed on the breaks, flinging Dean into the windshield and sliding in the gravel on the shoulder, coming to a full stop.

“What the hell, man?” Dean said, unwedging himself from between the seat and footwell. “Did you hit a deer? Oh for the love of- I swear Sammy, if you hit a deer, I’m going to kick your ass, I just got baby washed, and no-”

“Dean! Shut up!” Sammy said, his eyes glassy and staring straight ahead. His fingers were gripping the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles were white. “Just shut up,” he whispered.

Dean sat up and turned toward Sam, on full alert. He reached over and put the car in park and turned off the ignition. 

“Sammy?” he asked cautiously, “you okay, man? You’re kinda scaring me a little, what happened?”

Sam started breathing again, all at once, and it wasn’t too long before he was heaving deep gulps of air, causing himself to be more dizzy. He felt like he was going to pass out.

Dean shook him hard. “Damn, Sammy, chill the fuck out! Get ahold of yourself. Breathe, slowly.” Sam took pulls of oxygen through his nose and exhaled through his mouth. “There, Sammy, that’s better. Okay now, what happened?”

Sam did feel better, but seemed to have lost the ability to speak. He pulled the phone from his lap where he dropped it. He handed it to Dean with shaking hands. Dean quirked an eyebrow and plucked the phone away and flipped it open.

“Oh, missed call from Cas,” he said, clicking a few buttons. “He leave a message?” He looked at Sam, suddenly worried, “what’d he say?”

Sam could only nod his head and wait for Dean to listen to it. He watched as Dean went from worried to confused to realization to annoyance. He huffed a breath and snapped the phone shut. 

“Well I guess that explains that,” he said to himself, “I always wondered if he made it out of there, I mean we never heard from him after that, so I had assumed..” Dean turned back to Sam and trailed off. “What is it Sam?”

Sam gulped and turned to face his brother. His eyes were open wide, rimmed with tears. He took a shaky breath. “I thought I lost him, Dean,” he said quietly before he realized what he said.

Dean’s eyebrows shot up, his mouth dropping open slightly. “You thought you-?” he started, “Lost who-” he paused and a look of dawning realization passed his face again, and quickly morphed into a teasing smirk. “Holy shit, Sammy, no way!”

Sam blinked at his brother, not knowing how to respond.

“You and the archangel?” Dean wiggled his brows suggestively. “I knew there was something going on, especially after the whole tv land thing- you were really mopy and weird for like a week. You were listening to that weird emo breakup music you like.” Dean’s eyes lit up. “Holy shit! You like him!”

Sam looked at his lap, red flush creeping up his neck. He cleared his throat but said nothing. It was the universal Sam sign for ‘you went too far Dean.’ Dean snapped his mouth shut.

Dean reached out and pat his brother’s back, awkwardly. “Hey, I’ll drive now, we still got about two hours til Sioux Falls.” Dean opened the door. “Might as well drain the snake since we’re stopped.”

Sam didn’t hear him. He was still frozen in place, blinking back tears. He needed to call Cas and clear some things up. Really, he wanted to make a dramatic u-turn and head back to the bunker as fast as he could. Even leave Dean on the side of the road. 

What would he even say to Gabriel if he saw him? He had played through hundreds of conversations in his head over the past few years, and he couldn’t think on one thing he would say. In reality, he knew he would never see Gabe again and tried to let him go. He had himself pretty convinced he _had_ let him go, but now a tidal wave of repressed emotion coursed through him. 

Sam closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He startled when Dean tapped on the window, motioning him come out. He got out of the Impala in a daze and walked around the car, sliding into shotgun. He needed to snap out of it. Dean dialed Cas but got no answer.

They had been on the road for a long stretch before Dean broke the silence.  
“So...I guess we could head back to the bunker after we handle this thing for Jody, ok?” he said, “and meet up with them?”

Sam shook his head, his hair falling in his eyes. “I just can’t believe he’s alive,” he said softly, “and not just alive but where that fuck has he been?” He huffed out a short laugh. “At least you’ve always known where Cas was- even when he went all Leviathan-”

“Wait, what?” Interrupted Dean, “What has this got to do with Cas?” His voice was suddenly higher than normal. 

Sam looked at Dean and snorted. “Yeah, Dean, it’s a little late in the game for you to deny anything now,” he said, “it was more than obvious after Purgatory-”

“Don’t.” interrupted Dean again, “Just...don’t. You don’t know what you’re talking about, so just shut up.”

Sam was beyond tired of it all so he pushed his luck. “It’s been different since he got the angel tablet, hasn’t it? And when you kicked him out of the bunker after he fell? That was-”

Dean’s fist flew quickly, Sam’s head bouncing against his window. 

“Ow, Dean, what the hell?” Sam asked, rubbing his jaw.

“I said to shut up, Sammy.” Dean’s hand had returned to the wheel and he stared out into the darkness, jaw clenching. “That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. It was between you getting well and living, and me getting what I wanted.” His cheeks colored at his admission. “I would make the same choice again if I had to.”

Sam pulled a bitchface. “It shouldn’t have to be that way, Dean. You should be able to have both of us. No one should ever ask you to choose between your brother and ‘best friend’.” Sam used air quotes, if only to needle Dean a little more. 

Dean itched his forearm. He remained silent. 

Sam hung his head, suddenly ashamed. “If it wasn’t for me, if I hadn’t tried to complete trials, you never would have had to make that choice in the first place.”

Dean looked at him sharply. “No Sam. Don’t you take this on, it was on me...you know what? We’ve gone round and round with this, and I’m done with it. Let’s just move on.”

“Why can’t you move on with Cas, Dean?”

Dean went silent again. A frown appeared between his eyes, and Sam had never seen him so lost. 

“I love him, Sammy. And I fucked it up.” Dean said, his voice cracking, “After everything, I just…”  
“It’s okay, Dean,” Sam said, “I think he knows. But you both have some shit to work out. Maybe later you-”

“No Sammy,” Dean said, “it’s too late.” Dan had shut down, and no matter how he tried, Sam couldn’t get another word out of him on the subject.

********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the triple dip of angst.
> 
> There is a ridiculous amount of smut coming your way, so don't worry your pretty little heads.
> 
> I got about 2 more chapters in me, then we can wrap this up. Maybe a happy ending :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inevitable reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I lied. No smut here. Only more angst.
> 
> I just got caught up in Sam's feelings and we all know what a deep well that is.
> 
> So basically more angst. But at least the end of this chapter is sweet. It took on a life of its own, but I swear to Chuck it will all be okay.
> 
> Also!!!! Maybe a warning for a anxiety attack, but I hope I didn't go to hard with it.

The gravel glowed in the moonlight, long shadows of trees pushing fingers into the intersection. In the very center, the dirt was disturbed in a sloppy mound and a small trowel lay nearby, abandoned. The air was sharp with autumn decay; most foliage had already been shed and the recent rain had begun the process of returning the leaves to the earth. Short bursts of screams occasionally disrupted the silence, along with a demanding lower voice, choking out words not easily heard from a distance. 

Unless, of course, you were an archangel. The you could hear everything as you stood in the dark shadows twenty yards away. 

Gabriel chewed his nails, an annoying habit he had picked up during his last stay on earth. To say he was worried was a vast understatement- the last time he had seen Sam act this way, the hunter had been missing his soul and was in Dexter mode. Gabe decided against stepping in and disrupting Sam’s work- it was just a demon after all, and Sam could handle one demon. He wasn’t sure Sam would appreciate Gabe swooping in to rescue him. Even with his broken arm, Sam was a lethal machine- the demon went from cocky to terrified before being relieved of her vessel. So much for trying to exorcise the demon to save the human. He guessed those days were long over.

Gabe had been watching Sam for the last few months, trying to stay under the radar. He was pretty sure the hunter wasn’t in a place where he would be very accepting of Gabriel’s return, especially after the voicemail fiasco. 

Gabriel had gone over in his head about a billion times what he would say when he finally spoke with Sam. So far all he could come up with were really tasteless jokes (his forte) or some kind of surprise entrance- something bold and ridiculous like bringing Sam back to the Mystery Spot or the University where they met, some kind of stupid wild romantic gesture.

But after quite a bit of observation, Gabe could see that Sam wouldn’t see any of those things; he would only see the abandonment and rejection. The hunter was in a bad place. A dark place, and Gabe didn’t know how to fix it for him. He came up with a few scenarios where he could teach Sam a lesson about being willing to sacrifice the world in favor of saving his brother, but it all seemed so cruel. 

Gabriel missed the days where he felt no real attachment to humanity and they were just playthings to him. But Sam had changed all that. Slowly but surely, he had wiggled under Gabe’s skin and made a home in his heart. Gabe rolled his eyes at his own disgustingly cute thoughts. 

He looked back to the scene at the crossroads just to see Sam packing it up to head home. Gabriel waited until the ancient truck pulled away before flying ahead to the bunker. He perched on a wall nearby, waiting. He had yet to try and land inside; it felt somehow wrong to penetrate Sam’s safe place without permission. He snorted laughter to himself. Nice one. Consent joke.

Gabriel wondered where Castiel was right then. He had parted ways with his brother after his daring escape from his prison cell in Heaven. Well, not so much daring as Cas walking over and unlocking the door for him and letting him sneak out without being seen. Gabriel wasn’t much for apologies, but had some time to sit and think about his behavior for a while, and he managed a weak ‘sorry ‘bout the thing, but, uh...ya know,’ to which Cas gracefully accepted with a smile and a hug before shoving him out the portal to the playground. 

The moon was high in the sky, shrinking in size but growing in intensity as it moved beyond the layer of ozone that colored it on the horizon as it rose. Gabe tipped his head back and shut his eyes, stretching his wings out and shaking his feathers. 

The motor of the truck was identifiable from a mile off, and Gabe watched patiently, for the 50th night in a row as Sam pulled in the driveway and around to the garage entrance. Gabe would usually go invisible and hover near him as he got out to open the garage doors, just watching quietly. He couldn’t remember the actual number of times he had almost said something, but he always hesitated and Sam would be back in whatever junker he drove and disappearing into the bunker’s basement. 

This time, however, Gabe didn’t bother to move. He rested, chin in hand, with his elbow propped on his knee, and went invisible just before the headlights hit him. Strangely enough, Sam broke the pattern that night and stopped at the bunker’s front door. He turned the engine off and sat in the truck for a long moment before opening the door and swinging his mile-long legs out and standing tiredly. Gabe watched as Sam slammed the truck door harder than was necessary, and walk to the door with his head down. That was odd.

Something was off. Gabriel sat very still, avoiding detection (even though he was invisible) as Sam reached the door and fumbled the key before unlocking and entering in one fluid movement. 

Strange. The hunter _always_ scanned the area before he went inside. Well, that’s how it was when he went into the garage, but Gabriel knew he did it most everywhere he went. It was hunter instinct. So why was tonight different? Why would Sam do that?

Gabriel popped back to being visible and hopped down from his perch. He sidled up to the door, touching the engravings around the keyhole as he had done many times before. He sighed and shuffled his feet, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. He decided, again, that tonight wasn’t the night. He could try again tomorrow. Maybe by then he would’ve grown some balls.

Taking a step back, Gabe felt the hard steel of a gun muzzle shoved in his back. He froze. Of fucking course. Sam was onto him and thought he was a threat and snuck around from the back door to get the jump on him. _Well played, Sammy boy,_ he thought, smirking. 

“I don’t know what you want, and I don’t care,” growled Sam, “but I have a 9mm on you loaded with silver bullets with devil traps carved into them. So whatever-the-fuck you are, you do _not_ want to fuck with me. Not tonight.”

Gabriel bit his lip, cursing himself for getting caught by Sam. Again. That boy had a way of finding him out, and Gabe had a way of letting him. But now it was too late to put this off until Sam maybe felt a little less murdery.

Sam backed up a bit and lowered his voice further, to sound more menacing. “Turn around. Slowly.”

Sam’s voice sent a vibration through Gabriel’s very core, but he did as he was told, raising his hands in mock surrender. His smirk grew as he turned to face Sam.

“Heya Sammy.”

 

********

Sam sat with his arms folded tightly, sling and all, and glared as hard as he could at the archangel sitting on the war room table, swinging his legs. He was livid. He had also felt his heart try to leap out of his chest, but he squashed it flat with more fury. 

“Now will you tell me why the fuck you’re here,” he said in a strained voice, trying his best to keep it from wavering, “and how long you’ve been watching me?”

Gabriel slid forward, ready to jump down, but Sam held his hand out stopping him from coming nearer. He couldn’t handle proximity. It would melt his resolve. And he needed to be angry. He had the right to be angry.

“I can see that you’re angry,” Gabe said innocently, causing Sam to roll his eyes hard enough to make his hair flop. 

“Don’t make me get an angel blade, Gabriel,” Sam said in warning.

Gabe smirked. “Okay I’ll promise to stay out of your head if you promise not to get all stabby.”

They both knew a standard blade wouldn’t kill him, but it would at least hurt like a bitch, and maybe Sam wouldn’t even feel bad about it.

“Sam, if you want me to stay out of your head, try not to think so damn loud.” Gabe started swinging his legs again.

Sam focused his thoughts on images of stabbing Gabriel in twenty different ways. Gabe grimaced. “Okay, point taken,” he said, “literally. I’ll put more effort into it.”

Sam sighed, the wind leaving his sails. He was already desperately emotionally drained and had planned on coming home after the demon interrogation and collapsing, maybe for a few days. 

It was when he was packing the truck up, after he had salted and burned the crossroad demon’s vessel,that he realized he was being watched. He had this feeling prickling up on the back of his neck. He had been feeling it more often lately, but this time he was sure he was being watched. Sam had packed slowly, his gun tucked into the sling on the right. He wasn’t as fast with his left, but his could fuck someone up if he had to. He waited, but the attack never came. Almost disappointed that he didn’t get to gank more demons, he hopped into the truck and headed back to the bunker. 

Pulling into the bunker driveway, the feeling crept back up on him. He slowed the truck early and rolled to a stop by the front door. If he were to slip in the front, he could dash down to the basement and come around the east side of the building, surprising whoever or _whatever_ was following him. 

He nearly pissed himself when Gabriel turned around. If he wanted to be absolutely honest with himself, his knees did go weak and he almost dropped his gun. 

And then the anger came. It fortified him and made him strong. He was always good at using anger to cover his feelings- no wait. That was Dean. Sam didn’t do stuff like that at all. 

Sam laid his head on the war room table, frustrated and tired. He didn’t know if he had the energy to do this with Gabe tonight. But he couldn’t imagine he would get any sleep knowing that Gabriel was somewhere in the bunker, if he even chose to stick around this time. 

“Why are you here?” he asked, head still on the table, cheek pressed against the lit surface, directed at Gabe.

Gabriel slid closer on the table, his ass about six inches from Sam’s face. Sam made a noise and sat up. 

“Sammy, you know what your problem is?” Gabe asked, drawing back to sit cross-legged in the center of the lit table.

“No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me,” said Sam flatly, “so fire away.”

Gabe spread his hands out. “You need to stop and smell the roses, Sammy boy, and I’m feelin’ fresh and fragrant.” Gabriel inhaled through his nose loudly, and exhaled, winking at Sam.

Sam snapped. “You fucking have no right,” he growled, kicking his chair back, “no right, to come in here after being gone so long- how could you- how could you even-? You fake your death- I-I prayed to you! Then that fucking message?!? What even was that? Cas wouldn’t give me any answers… I was doing just fine and now you show up?” He had begun pacing, waving his good arm wildly, not even glancing at the angel. Gabriel waited patiently for him to finish. Sam went on for what seemed like forever, moving through anger, to sadness, then back to anger. He became aware at some point of the stinging in his eyes, and eventual wetness running down his face as he shouted. His breathing became ragged and his words no longer made sense and he backed up to the wall and started to feel the room tilt and get fuzzy as he slid down- 

Strong arms caught him from falling forward and helped him gently to the ground. He was full on sobbing, not caring anymore, feeling all the loss he had ever known all at once. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way, he was supposed to stay in control and have good boundaries and have self respect. But what was the point anymore? Dean was gone, Cas was somewhere dealing with angel politics as usual, and Sam was by himself again. The world had moved on so much since Dean was in Purgatory, and Sam couldn’t even halfway imagine trying to start a life outside the bunker. He was too broken. Nothing outside of hunting even made any sense anymore. 

Gabriel had sat next to him and was holding Sam’s head against his chest, softly stroking his hair away from his face. Sam was clutching weakly at Gabe’s arms, shuddering through his sobbing. He started to slow down, and noticed he had probably snotted all over Gabe’s shirt when he ugly cried. He started to pull away, suddenly ashamed.

With a soft squeeze on the shoulder, Gabe pulled him closer instead, and used his sleeve to wipe Sam’s nose. He pressed a kiss into the top of Sam’s head and held his lips there a bit longer, breathing in deeply.

“Why don’t we get you cleaned up,” Gabe said softly, “and put you to bed. You hungry?”

Sam shook his head no, and Gabe held up his hand and snapped. They were now on Sam’s bed in the same position as they were on the floor. Gabriel unwound himself and pulled the covers out from under Sam after pulling off his boots. He took extra care to tuck Sam in, seeming reluctant to leave the hunter’s room. Sam’s eyes were barely open, puffy and red.

Finally Gabe kissed him on the head again and backed toward the door, holding up his hand. Sam snaked out a hand from under the covers and grasped Gabriel’s wrist, stopping him.

“Don’t go,” Sam whispered, barely audible, “I’m sorry, I didn’t- I mean I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s okay, Sammy,” Gabe said, “I’ll stay.”

Sam sighed and pulled back the covers to let the smaller man in. Gabe kicked off his shoes and hopped between the sheets. Sam flipped over, pulling one of Gabe’s arms with him, making the archangel the big spoon. Gabe curled around him and buried his face in Sam’s locks, inhaling gunpowder, sweat, apple shampoo, and the pheromones coming off of Sam’s neck in waves. 

Sam was aware for about thirty seconds that they were actually cuddling- they had never done that before- before he fell deeply asleep, wrapped in the one thing he wanted but thought he would never be allowed to have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience.
> 
> Please leave me a comment- I'm needy and insecure (as evidenced by this chapter lol)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam needs a bath and a nap. And maybe a handjob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a longer one that usual. sorry it took me longer than expected to post.   
> some days it's like poetry and flows out of you like a river, and other days it's like writing 8th grade spelling words on cardboard with a dull pencil. Like not even a number 2 pencil. A friggin HB. Mechanical. with the lead trying to fall out. 
> 
> Simile. 
> 
> All mistakes are because I edit my own crap. And sometimes it's just crap and there's no fixin' it.

_Broken people like me aren’t allowed to have what they want…_

_I have hurt too many people… I don’t deserve to be happy…_

_This is my punishment, to be alone… I deserve to be alone..._

Gabriel winced. Sam had long since fallen into deep sleep, but when a new cycle started, it was fitful and caused the man to draw his brows together and frown. 

As much as Gabe had promised to stay out of his head, it was painful to watch. Stroking a finger along his jawline, Gabe opened his ears again. The flood of dark, brooding thoughts hit him in a wave, and he had to concentrate to sort them out. 

He honestly wanted to wake Sam up and reassure him. To smooth out his worry lines and other gooey romantic stuff he wasn’t used to. It was tempting to dive into Sam’s dream; they certainly had a good time the last time he did that, but he was pretty sure that wouldn’t fly this time. 

He had to tread lightly if he didn’t want to scare Sam off and be shut out for good. Gabriel was new to this kind of thing- it had been easy with Kali, she didn’t exactly have feelings beyond horny and wrath. But with Sam… There was not much margin for error. He’d already fucked up so bad and had no idea how to repair it at this point. And worst of all, he couldn’t promise Sam a happy ending. 

As Gabe stroked Sam’s hair, he gently removed the dreams and Sam fell back into deep sleep. He would let the hunter rest as long as he needed to, and by the look of his hollowed-out eyes and prominent cheekbones, he wasn’t eating or sleeping enough. And what was up with the broken arm? Gabe thought he probably should ask before healing it- he didn’t need Sam any more angry at him.

Gabriel watched Sam’s chest rise and fall, and counted his eyelashes. He had propped himself up on one elbow when Sam had rolled to his back. Now he wiggled down until he was level with Sam’s face and buried his face in his hair again. He wrapped his arm around the chest of the much larger man and waited for him to wake.

********

It was 10 hours later when Sam blinked groggily at his ceiling. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and tried to remember last night. He knew he had some sort of weird dream and then he guessed he passed out in his clothes, but the details were hazy. He knew he didn’t get drunk last night but he felt hungover. His eyes were puffy, his throat dry, and he had a pounding headache. 

Sam groaned and rolled over toward the wall and buried his face in his pillow. A couple more hours would be fine, no one was around to tell him when to get up, so who gave a fuck anyway.

There was a crinkling sound of a plastic wrapper. Sam froze, his heart speeding up. It could be mice, right? He laid still and waited. The crinkling stopped and was replaced by an annoying slurping sound. Sam rolled over so fast he nearly fell out of bed.

Gabriel was sitting in Sam’s desk chair with it tipped back, balancing on two legs. He looked smugly back at Sam and popped his sucker back in his mouth, smiling around it.

“Oh for the love of-” Sam huffed, “It’s too early for this shit.” All of last night came flooding back and Sam’s face went as red at Gabe’s cherry sucker. He turned his eyes down and played with his fingers, fidgeting.

“Sam-” started Gabe, but Sam cut him off before he could speak.

“Can we not, Gabe?” Sam implored sincerely, “I don’t really want to rehash last night okay. Let’s just not talk about it ever again.”

Gabriel leaned forward until his front chair legs hit the floor with a bang. 

“It’s fine with me Sammy,” he said lightly, “I was going to suggest a shower or something, and maybe some people food. We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about.”

Sam eyed him suspiciously, contemplating demanding answers, but it was too early and he needed coffee first. He looked around for his phone to check the time. It was 3 in the afternoon. No wonder he had a headache, it had been forever since he had some caffeine in his system. 

Groaning, Sam stood, resigned to take care of his base needs first and stumbled past Gabe and went to the bathroom to pee. By the color of it, he noted, he was pretty dehydrated and needed to add ‘drink water’ to his to-do list. Sam washed his hands and finally looked in the mirror. Things had been so bad recently that he had avoided his own reflection out of fear of what he would see there. And it was pretty scary. His hair was limp and greasy, and in need of a good wash. He was sporting about three day’s stubble, and his teeth desperately needed brushing. He wanted to jump in the shower and scrub himself until his skin was raw, but that might have taken hours, so he settled for picking up his toothbrush instead. 

Sam walked down the hallway that lead to the bunker’s kitchen. There was some sound coming from that direction and he cocked his head curiously, listening harder. It sounded like music. That’s when the smell of bacon hit him. He groaned, his mouth automatically watering. He loved it. So much. Not that he’d ever tell Dean, his brother would never let him hear the end of it. He usually would eat turkey bacon, but it was a poor substitute for the real thing. Dean said eating turkey bacon was like eating margarine- it tasted like it, sort of, but there was no denying it was crap compared to the real thing. Incidentally Dean used the same comparison when he saw Sam buy a tub of reduced cholesterol margarine. 

Sam was two steps away from the kitchen door when he remembered Dean wasn’t there. It was like a blow to the gut. He had to stop and lean against the wall and wait until his breathing slowed. 

“I can hearing you breathing, Samsquach,” Gabriel’s voice sang out from the kitchen, “wouldn’t it just be easier to just come on in here and breathe all heavy in my ear?”

Sam snorted in spite of himself and trudged into the kitchen. He stopped, brows raised at the scene in front of him. It was brighter than usual, the room was spotless and shining. There was a banquet spread down a long table in the center of the room, and it was piled high with all sorts of breakfast foods, coffees and teas, and of course, a big tower of donuts. The radio was was blaring away Harry Belafonte in the background.

“Well I guess that answers that question,” Sam huffed out, small smile on his lips.

“What question?” Gabe asked, wiggling his eyebrows, “Is it, ‘can it be that the god of sex himself also is a gourmet chef and has excellent taste in music?’”

Sam grinned. “No it was more like, ‘does Gabriel have his mojo back?’” He slid into a chair and looked at the overwhelming amount of food. “And I’m guessing that’s a yes.”

“Of course I got the goods, baby, I’m Gabriel Motherfuckin’ Archangel of the Lord,” Gabe made a sweeping gesture, and posed like superman while a halo of light surrounded his head, playing choir singing and doves flying out from behind him. 

Sam raised an eyebrow and reached to get some coffee. He kept his face straight; he was supposed to still be mad, after all, but his heart fluttered with affection. Gabe was damn near adorable. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, causing the doves and such to disappear, along with most of the items on the table. A bowl of cut fruit, a plate of eggs and bacon, a glass of milk, and a bowl of bran flakes remained. 

Sam couldn’t fight the amused smile teasing at his lips.

“Where’d you get the idea for this? He asked, “been eating healthier?”

Gabe snorted. “Please. I got it off this,” he held up an open box of cereal, which featured a _complete breakfast, rich with essential vitamins and minerals_ picture on the front. 

Sam smiled into his coffee, but he could see the confidence building in Gabe’s eyes. 

“So when you get done,” Gabe said lightly, “we’ll get you washed up and in some clean clothes and then right back to bed.”

Sam paused, swallowing his sip. “Back to bed? But I just got up.”

Gabe shook his head, frowning, “Yeah, but I’m guessing you haven’t been doing too well in the self-care department. You look awful.”

“Tell us what you really think,” Sam said under his breath, his face coloring. He took a few more bites and listened to Gabe’s wild stories of Turkish Bathhouses in the late 18th century. He was both amused and grossed out, but it was nice to relax into the dynamic they had. 

When he couldn’t possibly eat more, Sam stood to take his dishes to the sink. He looked down, frowning. It would probably take two trips, unless he wanted to risk breaking something while balancing everything on one arm. He blinked, and they were gone. He looked up and caught Gabe’s eyes, seeing the briefest flicker of something, before it was replaced by his usual smirk. 

Sam nodded a thank you and left the kitchen to go take a shower. But apparently Gabriel “Motherfuckin’ Archangel of the Lord” had other plans. The bathroom, which held three shower stalls and three partitioned toilets, was now a glimmering pearly bathhouse, a large tub in the middle with water flowing from multiple spouts. There were fountains, basins, and something that looked suspiciously like a bidet. 

Sam sighed loudly, but was actually kind of excited to lay down in a bathtub. He’d never found one big enough to accommodate his height, so it had been showers for him since he hit that ridiculous growth spurt his senior year of high school. He heard Gabriel approach from behind him, but the angel hung back and waited. 

The sling was complicated to get off, and Sam could hear Gabriel choking on a giggle behind him.

“Oh for the love of- just help me, would you?” Sam asked, with his flannel stuck between the sling and his teee shirt somehow.

Gabriel sauntered over and snapped, removing ever stitch of clothing. Sam winced as the cool air hit him all at once, but he purposefully held still to give Gabe a long look. Gabriel’s eyes roved hungrily over Sam’s body, causing the hunter to flush. Sam turned to get in the tub. Out of habit, he held his bad arm out of the water to keep the cast from getting wet. He sank into the bubbles and groaned at the feel of the hot water.

Gabriel walked over and sat on the floor by the tub. He tentatively reached out to Sam’s arm. “May I,” he asked.

Sam narrowed his eyes. Gabe never asked permission to do stuff like that. He was an egotist and used any opportunity he could to show off. He wondered what the angel had up his sleeve. He was about to tell him to fuck off, but paused. Maybe it would be fine just just let him fix the damn arm already. It wasn’t the first time he’d broken it, and wearing a cast sucked. It made it hard to hunt. He decided fuck it, let Gabe heal it, he could still be mad at him but with use of more limbs.

There was a small, hidden piece in Sam’s mind that wanted to be in top physical condition so he could nail Gabriel against the wall or bend him over the war room table. But he was choosing to ignore that little piece. For now.

Sam nodded slightly, and watched closely as Gabe touched a single fingertip to his arm. The cast disappeared and the dull, persistent ache was gone. The ache had been there the last few years, a reminder that Sam was getting older and his body didn’t bounce back from injuries like it used to.

“Hm,” he said, flexing his fingers, “you even made it all toned up instead of wrinkled and pale.”

Gabe shrugged. “Not a problem,” he said, hopping up, “holler if you need anything.” With that, he turned on his heel and left the room. 

Sam listened to his retreating footsteps, thinking. Gabriel was clearly bribing him for forgiveness. It was kind of cute, really. He wondered if he’d be able to put his resentment on hold to be with the angel while he could. There was so much he had to do, the Mark, finding Dean before it was too late, if he let this opportunity slip by, he might not see Gabriel for a long time.

“Hey, Gabe,” he shouted at the open door, “It’s okay, you can-”

Sam yelped as he felt a slippery leg on his under the water. He turned to find Gabe already naked and in the water, sitting at the other end of the tub. 

“Don’t do that!” he growled, “you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“Mmm. Then I could give you mouth-to-mouth and return the favor,” he responded, quirking an eyebrow.

Sam flashed back on the memories Gabe had given him years ago. The snippets that confirmed what was already between them was deeper than Sam had thought. He had spent a long time trying to forget those moments, because that hurt the worst; knowing that the one he was supposed to be with defied space and time, and the request of God himself, to be with him.  
He realized he hadn’t said anything back to Gabe and was staring into his eyes, thinking. Gabe stayed quiet and let Sam process it. Finally, because Gabriel was Gabriel, he had to break the silence.

“Just a few more seconds, Sammy, and we’ll have our brothers’ record for creepy stares beat.”

Sam snorted, and broke out into full laughter, the sound bouncing off the tile and making Gabe smile broadly.

When the giggles subsided, Sam shook his head, “It’s funny how they still think they’re fooling everyone. I mean Dean can’t even mention Cas’ name without blushing like a virgin and-” Sam smile dropped off his face again, remembering that Dean was gone.

Gabe saw right away and moved closer in the water to grasp Sam’s hand. He wove their fingers together, a simple gesture, but oddly intimate for the two of them. Sam tried to smile. It looked more like a grimace. Gabe squeezed his fingers.

“Hey Sammy, I didn’t mean to bring that up,” Gabe said, “that was out of line.”

“No, it’s okay, Gabe,” Sam replied, placing his other hand around their joined ones, “I’m okay, just- just don’t go anywhere, okay?” Sam searched his eyes desperately, knowing he was coming off as needy, but who was he kidding, he was fucking lonely. And he didn’t want just anyone's company, he wanted Gabriel’s. He had suddenly found himself in the exact spot he had been dreaming of over the years and yes, dammit, he was needy.

Gabe placed his other hand on the pile under the bubbles and smiled. No snark, just a tiny but open smile. 

He was nearly in Sam’s lap. 

Sam pulled a hand away and grabbed Gabe’s hip, tugging him forward until he was straddling Sam’s thighs. Sam ran his hands up Gabe’s torso and plunged his fingers in the hair on the back of his head, causing him to gasp. Sam pulled him slowly forward, leaving space, the electricity between them almost unbearably hot, causing them both to pant in anticipation. They were still staring into the other’s eyes, as if in challenge, and Sam saw the exact moment Gabe’s pupils dilated to twice their size. It caused Sam’s cock to jump and his already half hard erection stand at attention. Their groins weren’t making contact yet, and he wanted so badly to thrust them together hard, but he wanted to take it slow and savor every moment of taking apart his angel. 

Their lips brushed against each other gently. Sam tilted Gabe’s head as they parted lips, tongues touching hesitantly. Gabe was clutching Sam’s biceps, his fingers digging in almost painfully. He suddenly pulled himself forward and deepened the kiss the same time as their erections slid together. He rocked against Sam in a fluid, rolling movement, Sam hunching over slightly and moaning into his mouth. It was unexpected, Gabe usually let Sam take the lead, but the move caused a flare of hunger to light up in Sam that had him shivering in anticipation. Gabe had moved his hands to Sam’s hair, pulling and gently scratching his scalp causing vibrations to course along Sam’s skin. It felt amazing. 

Sam pulled back to catch his breath. His chest heaving, he looked down into Gabe’s eyes, “what was that?” managed to get out.

“Just me and you,” whispered Gabe, running his fingers down Sam’s neck to his sculpted abs, “no mojo, just us.” He looked down, as if the admission made him vulnerable somehow.

Sam cupped the side of his face, running a thumb over Gabe’s bottom lip. “I missed you,” he said, voice cracking, “I thought about you all the time. I still have the, um, movie you made me.” A grin started to grow across his face, “I also have a copy of every porno you’ve ever been in.”

Gabe’s eyes shot up to meet his again. “That’s quite a selection, Sammy,” he said with a smirk, “you like what you saw?”

“Hm yeah,” Sam pretended to ponder that for a second, “my favorite was definitely…”  
Gabe smirked knowingly.  
“...Jack Reacher Reached Around, volume 7.”

Gabe huffed and tweaked Sam’s nipple. “Liar. You know you couldn’t get enough of me using all those toys on myself.” He rolled his hips down again, the friction causing heat to build in Sam’s abdomen. Gabe leaned forward and whispered in Sam’s ear, “I thought about you when I was fucking myself, you know. In fact, I always think of you.” He swiped his tongue over the spot behind Sam’s ear and sucked gently at the flesh there, making his way down the hunter’s neck. 

Sam shuddered, and gripped Gabe’s ass, rolling their hips together again. Both moaned, the water sloshing around them as they did it again and again, until they were rutting against each other helplessly, tongues and lips messy, sucking and biting. Gabe’s hand dipped into the water and he gripped them both and stroked them, not too tightly, building a rhythm. Sam dove in for another kiss, sloppy and distracted, fingers pulling Gabe’s hair, which ended with them breathing in each other’s mouths as they approached climax. Sam felt Gabe change stroking rhythm by adding a small twist as he pulled upward. The heat coiling in his gut intensified, and he gasped.

“I’m close,” he breathed into Gabe’s mouth. 

Gabe dipped into Sam’s mouth and kissed him deeply, slowly this time, causing a different sensation that clenched at Sam’s chest, pulling a sob out of him as he came. A flood of unnamed emotion rolled through him, joy and loss, intense disastrous love. He buried his face in Gabriel’s neck and pressed their bodies together tightly, trapping Gabe’s hand in between. He then felt the angel shudder and pulse between them as he came, his breathing hot on Sam’s ear. They stayed wound around each other for a few moments until their breathing slowed. 

Sam was afraid to lift his head. He could blame the moisture on his face on the steam in the room, but the redness in his eyes would be obvious. He wasn’t sure what just happened. It had been just a simple handjob in a bathtub, Sam shouldn’t have felt so thrown by it. His emotions started to surface and he began to have trouble breathing. 

Gabriel made a surprised noise and pulled back, capturing Sam’s face in his hands, looking at him with concerned golden eyes. Sam blinked back tears. He couldn’t help but feel this was a terrible mistake. He shouldn’t have just let Gabriel in. He had spent years now feeling _broken_ over Gabriel, how could he have let himself just stop feeling that for a few moments of pleasure, when the angel would just leave him again anyway? He felt like he had betrayed himself. He had spent _years_ perfecting the walls he built around himself, and Gabe comes in and he just gets naked with him like it’s nothing? He felt pathetic. The room started to blur.

********

Gabe’s eyes turned from concerned to panic. “Sam, come back, breathe dammit,” he said, lightly slapping Sam’s cheek to keep him conscience. “Sam, I’m going to take you to your room, okay?” Sam’s eyes were slipping shut, but was breathing normally. 

Gabe snapped his fingers, transporting them to Sam’s bed. In his haste, Gabe didn’t dry them off, so he cursed when they brought water with them, soaking the sheets. He laid Sam down all the way back and rubbed down his body to increase circulation. He had the bed dried by then, so he hopped up to find pajamas to put on Sam. He rummaged around in a basket of hopefully clean laundry and found some wrinkled plaid flannel pajama pants. He quirked an eyebrow and resisted the urge to look in Sam’s underwear drawer to see what other plaid he could find. He would dress himself in a plaid thong if he thought it would help his case. Mmm. Plaid kink.

Gabe put the pants on the old fashioned way, savoring the gentle contact of being a caretaker, a role he was unused to playing. He felt good doing this for Sam, it felt natural, like he’d been doing it for years. 

The pang of guilt stabbed him again. Stupid human feelings. 

Gabriel dressed himself in silky bright red boxers and a matching robe. He settled himself on the bed next to Sam while he rested. And of course, he got bored. 

He had really intended to just sit next to Sam and watch over him, like some kind of penance, but the draw of poking around in Sam’s room was too tempting. He hopped up and spun in the center of the room, rubbing his hands together.   
“Where to start…” 

He headed to the dresser and opened up the sock drawer. Humans kept secret stuff in sock drawers, right? After pushing the pile of mismatched socks around, it was clear nothing was in there. Did Sam always keep it this messy?

Gabe paused and looked around the room, frowning. The place was really a mess. Papers and books were piled on the desk with unopened mail and a few empty soda cans. The laptop was on the floor, plugged into the charger. There was a pile of dirty clothes in the corner, and plaid shirts draped over virtually every surface. Sam’s massive boots were in the middle of the room, on top of a throw blanket. The walls were bare, and he had no keepsakes visible anywhere. 

Gabe cocked his head and swung around again. Didn’t humans usually keep a bunch of random shit for sentimental reasons? He popped into Dean’s room for comparison. The older Winchester had photos of himself and his mom, weapons that held some sort of significance displayed on the walls, and it was spotless. And clearly hadn’t been slept in for some time. He cringed. The reason Sam’s room looked that way was probably because he had lost the only thing he had left. Dean was gone, and Gabe had been gone, Cas was off doing Dad knows what, so Sam was really alone. 

Gabe returned to Sam’s room to the sock drawer. He carefully pulled them out one by one and started to match and fold them together. He picked up the dirty laundry, and after finding the washer and dryer, and nearly throwing them across the room in frustration, he cheated and snapped them clean and returned to put all of Sam’s clothing away. Gabe grabbed the small wastebasket and threw away the obvious garbage, and straightened up the desk enough to put the laptop on it. He was really tempted to look on it, but he resisted and hung up all the shirts. He yanked on the blanket on the floor, causing the boots to tumble, one flopping under the edge of the bed. He reached down to pick it up and saw the corner of a large box. Curious, he pulled it out, forgetting about cleaning momentarily, and sat on the floor to look at it.

The box was a trunk of sorts, a small trunk. There were latches on the front and a plate with a keyhole that was bent and obviously not being used. It was a dark green color, and looked pretty banged up. Stamped on the top was U.S.M.C. He looked over to Sam to see if he was sleeping still, and flipped open the latches. They squeaked, causing him to pause again and glance at Sam. No movement. He flipped the lid and surveyed the contents. There were photos, what looked like old theater tickets, a signed baseball, and some books. He moved a few things aside, trying not to dig too deeply. He saw the corner of a yellow blanket. He touched the edge of it, getting a flash of the night Dean held Sam tightly wrapped in that blanket, escaping a burning house. Why would Sam keep something that reminded him of something so painful? There were a few homemade Christmas cards that looked like a kid made them- they were from Dean to Sam- the handwriting was scrawling but cheerful, with crudely drawn christmas trees. 

Gabe was sort of hoping to find the _Casa Erotica 13_ dvd, but it was missing so far. He rummaged just a little more, flipping the cards out of the way. At the bottom was a small ceramic box, about six inches by four inches with white with flowers on it. The sort a woman would have on her vanity to keep special jewelry in. Gabriel lifted it delicately and moved it to his lap. 

_She kept the amulet in there when she didn’t wear it. It was a special box her mother had passed to her when she had come of age, and it was important. She had planned to pass it on to her daughter, but it wasn’t meant to be. She would have no children, and her grieving husband would eventually pass it on to Sam Winchester. The amulet made a home with someone else, but Sam kept the box for himself. He didn’t own many things, so this was very important to him. He kept it hidden from his dad and brother, ashamed to keep a secret and worried that they would make fun of him for it being girly. But he took it with him every time he moved, wrapping it in shirts in his duffel and eventually hiding it in his dad’s old Marine foot locker when they moved into the bunker- when they finally had a home._

Gabriel blinked over the new information flowing through his fingers. He could feel where Sam had reverently touched the design on the lid, and held it carefully, so worried it would spontaneously break. 

He lifted the lid, not expecting anything to be in there- nothing was rattling around when he picked it up. There nestled in the box, stacked carefully on top of each other, were three candy wrappers. 

Gabe felt dizzy. Maybe he needed to lie down after all. 

He stared down at the wrappers as if they held all the answers to all the questions in the universe. Maybe they did. He knew exactly where they came from. He had left them on the floor by the chair he had drunk texted Sam from in the motel room during the orgy. He was stunned that not only had Sam come looking for him, but had kept the candy wrappers he found there. He didn’t know how to feel about that. 

He touched them with his fingertips, knowing this was the only thing Sam had of him, the only thing he could have held onto all these years. It was a sad memento, and Gabe ached that this was what he had done to the hunter. He had no idea. He had thought the dvd would be enough, something for Sam to use and think of him, but this… This was more personal. It almost made no sense to Gabe why- _why_ \- would he keep the angel’s trash? And why keep it in there? 

Gabriel was on the verge of something, but he had questions. He had an idea. He wasn’t sure why he was compulsed to, but he set the box down and shook his shoulders, pulling his wings from the ether. He stretched them carefully- they were wider than the room would allow. He reached back and stroked through the smaller feathers at the base of the wing, straightening them, and found what he was looking for. He gripped the smaller feather and braced himself and pulled. He hissed lightly in pain. His grace throbbed for a moment then stilled. He folded his wings back away and looked at the feather in his hand. The quill was pure white, fading into amber gold, with a soft edge. Very carefully, he placed the feather in the box and set it back in the bottom of the foot locker, covering it quickly. He closed the lid, leaving the latches undone and slid it back under the bed. He sat back on his heels and glanced at Sam.

Sam was propped up staring at him, mouth open. He looked like he was frozen until his mouth started opening and closing, trying to form words. Gabe jumped up, holding his hands out sheepishly.

“Aw, crap, Sam,” he sputtered, “I didn’t mean to- I mean, I’m sorry I went into your stuff-”

“Your wings,” Sam got out finally, “I saw them. I...just like, actually _saw_ them.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, studying Sam’s face. “Yes…” he said, drawing out the word. 

“I just- I mean, I didn’t think they could, you know, be on this plane or whatever,” Sam sat further up, running his hand through his hair, “It was just a bit...overwhelming.” He smiled, his dimples showing.

Gabe flushed slightly. It wasn’t often he even materialized them on this dimension; so it had been a few centuries since he had been complimented on them. He stood slowly and edged toward the bed, hoping for an invite. 

Sam automatically flipped the comforter back so he could climb in. Sam still looked in awe. Gabriel slid in cautiously, wondering if Sam could see what he had been doing on the floor, or if he had just been looking at his wings. 

Gabe slipped his arms around Sam, drawing him close, and pulling him until Sam had his head resting on Gabe’s chest. He combed his fingers through Sam’s hair. It seemed the hunter hadn’t seen Gabe leave the feather. 

Gabe paused his ministrations, causing Sam to look up at him. A soft contentment was in his eyes, and an openness that wasn’t there before. Gabe was struck by the man’s beauty and vulnerability, a surge of desire to protect Sam filled him, making him tighten his grip. Sam’s lips twitched gently into a smile before his eyelids fluttered shut. He stayed that way, his face turned to Gabriel while he dozed off on his chest. 

Gabriel studied Sam’s peaceful sleeping face. He had never really been able to love anyone before- that part of him had shut down when Dad left (the first time). It was a curious thing; to feel such intensity to be near someone, and not just for sexual reasons. He had urges- weird urges- to care for and protect this human with every ounce of his being. He wanted to be there with him and never leave his side. And the very worst part of all, he wanted nothing more in the entire universe for Sam to love him back. 

 

********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excelsior! 
> 
> or something. 
> 
> I'm surly today but I love you all. In a very surly way.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings and porn abound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! I'm amazed I got through this- Sabriel is harder to write than I thought, hats off to those who OTP those sexy motherfuckers and write them exclusively. 
> 
> This is just porn and feelings. 
> 
> I hope you tell me if you liked it, leave me a comment or kudos. I'm needy.

Sam woke feeling refreshed for the first time in forever. He rolled to his back and stretched his limbs as far as they would go, arching his back. He yawned hard, and relaxed into jelly. He lifted his right arm and studied it as he flexed his fingers. Break was gone, and it felt pretty good. 

“Morning,” Gabe said from the wall by the door where he was leaning.

Sam yawned again, this one ending in a shiver. “Morning,” he replied with a grin, “whatcha doing over there?”

Gabriel’s face attempted a smile, but it came out more as wince. Sam sat up quickly, mood changing abruptly. It had barely been a weekend, and Gabe was going to leave him again.

Gabe walked over to the bed and sat beside him, looking completely out of character and awkward. He looked at Sam with sadness in his eyes. Sam’s heart stopped. 

“Sam, I- we need to talk about something-” Gabe started.

“Stop.” Sam held up a hand and looked away. “Just...stop. If you’re going to leave, don’t say anything, just go. I knew this was too good to be true, and I figured you’d leave, and that’s okay and everything, I mean, I know you have stuff-”

Gabriel cut him off with a soft kiss.

Sam stared at him helplessly, the words stuck in his throat. He was already dying a little inside, knowing that this was going to be it for them.

Gabe sat back and stared into Sam’s eyes. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said sternly, “not this time, okay?”

Sam drew his brows together in doubt. “But- but you always leave- why are you...why are you staying?”

Gabe broke eye contact and looked in his lap, the sadness in his eyes returning. “I fucked up, Sam. A lot. I left when I should have stayed, I brushed you off and convinced myself that you’d be better off without me, safer the further we were away from each other. I was a weak spot for you, and those smarmy asshole brothers of mine would have exploited the shit out of it if they knew. So I told myself I was protecting you...by the time I had figured out that my great plan had backfired, I was trapped and couldn’t come to you anymore. 

“And then Metadouche showed up-” Gabe said, rolling his eyes.

“Metatron?” Sam practically shouted, “You know where he is? That motherfucker-”

Gabe tentatively ran his fingers down Sam’s forearm, soothing him. “Try to focus, Sammy, I’m trying to apologize here, and by the way, I am _nailing_ it.”

Sam smirked at him but was quiet. He wove their fingers together and waited for Gabe to continue.

“Metatron found me after the fall- good work Castiel on that one- and trapped me in hope of using me to recruit said baby bro to lead some sort of rebellion against himself, like some weird masochistic role playing game? It was more than a little freaky.”

Gabriel was slowly pushing Sam back until he could straddle the man’s thighs, pinning him down with his hands over his head, fingers still laced. Sam was quirking a smile at the distraction, trying to focus on what Gabe was saying. 

“And I’m ashamed to say I did it- oh don’t worry, Cassie didn’t fall for the poorly scripted charade,” he continued, “but I would have told Metatron to stick it where the sun don’t shine if it hadn’t been for one thing. He used something against me,” Gabe said, lowering himself until he was inches away from Sam’s nose with his own. It was shockingly intimate. “He planned to blackmail me with something I thought no one knew about.”

“Oh yeah?” Sam asked, now smirking, “and what was that?”

Gabe exhaled slowly. “My love for you.” 

Sam went rigid, his face going blank. He blinked, looking into Gabe’s eyes, lips parting, but not speaking. Sam wondered if he had heard him wrong, and sat there in shock.

Something seemed to click, and Sam’s eyes widened in realization for a split second before he surged up and met Gabriel’s lips in a hard kiss. It was desperate and wet, their tongues sliding off one another, drawing out moans and gasps. Gabe let go of Sam’s hands which went straight down to Gabe’s ass, squeezing and massaging. Gabe rutted down, getting a little friction to Sam’s cock, but he seemed to have other plans. He wiggled until he was between Sam’s thighs, pulling the sheet out of the way, and roughly removing Sam’s pajama pants. Sam was halfway sitting up, chasing Gabe’s lips as the angel slid down the bed, leaving open kisses on Sam’s nipples, abs, and hip bones. He didn’t spend long with the teasing, but got down to it quickly, the way Sam liked it. Sam threw his head back, once again relinquishing control to Gabriel, and feeling freedom within that.

Gabriel took Sam’s cock down his throat in one swift motion, drawing up and pausing to tongue over the slit, causing moans to work their way out of Sam as he clutched at the headboard above him. Gabe felt Sam’s hand move to his head. To his surprise, Sam stopped him. He looked up into puppy eyes in confusion, but still saw the desire and affection deep within them. 

“Gabe,” Sam panted, “wait..I want...I want you to fuck me.”

The angel’s eyes darkened as crawled back up Sam until they were eye to eye. 

“Are you sure you want this, Sam?” Gabe asked, searching his eyes for hesitation.

Sam bit his lip and nodded. “I’ve been wanting it for a long time. I want to be under you. I want you to hold me down and fuck me into the mattress.”

Gabriel stopped breathing and his mouth hung open in disbelief. He swallowed hard and seemed to collect himself. 

“Okay Sam,” Gabe breathed, “I can do that for you if that’s what you want. I can take care of you.”

Sam had to bite back the tears. How weird would it be for him to cry right now? He was overwhelmed with Gabe understanding what he wanted and why he wanted it. He needed someone to take care of him. The past 24 hours Gabe had made sure he ate, bathed, and was well rested. It was an incredible feeling. Sure those were things Dean did for him, but it was out of obligation rather than choice. Gabriel was here and would do this for him because he _wanted_ to. 

Sam spread his legs and pulled his knees up until his feet were flat on the bed. Gabriel was draped between, licking and sucking on Sam’s hips and the crevice where leg met pelvis. Sam reached over to the nightstand and found the bottle of lube and passed it down to Gabe. He settled back and threw an arm over his eyes.

“Sam,” Gabe said gently, “I want to see you eyes. I want you to watch me.”

Sam shuddered and nodded, putting the arm back by his side. It was different to relinquish control, but he relaxed and reminded himself that Gabe loved him. And he told him. Sam had to breathe away the tears again.

Gabe looked up from his slow kisses on Sam’s body with raised eyebrows. Sam flapped a hand at him to dismiss his concern. “Don’t mind me,” he said with a sniff, “I’m just too damn happy.”

Gabriel broke into a huge smile and bent down and took Sam into his mouth again. His cock grew harder again. The sound of the lube opening caused Sam to tense up a little. Gabe hushed him and stoked his thigh until he relaxed.

Sam felt Gabe’s fingers stroke across his perineum, adding pressure and he rubbed in small circles, moving lower until he made contact with his furled hole. Sam instinctively clenched, but forced himself to relax. He nodded to Gabe, and the angel pushed a finger in up to the first knuckle. Sam tried to remain relaxed and he held Gabe’s eyes and waited for the odd feeling to dissipate. It did and he relaxed further, allowing Gabe to slide the finger in further, working it in and out, going deeper each time. Sam breathed deeply, and was proud that he didn’t clench once. 

“Do two now,” he sighed to Gabe, “I’m ready.”

Gabriel pulled out the first finger and added a second and pushed them in as slowly as the first time. Sam squirmed at the burn and stretch feeling, wanting to feel more quicker. Gabe was still working them in and out, twisting as he went, stretching his rim. Sam moaned and dropped his knees open further. Gabe’s hand twitched inside him, and he palmed himself through his red silk boxers, a wet spot had already formed on the front. Sam loved watching Gabe be turned on by Sam being turned on. He started rocking back on Gabe's fingers, encouraging him to go deeper and faster. Gabe quirked an eyebrow and him and increased the speed and then stopped. Sam looked down at him.

“Do you think you could take another one?” Gabe asked.

Sam nodded dumbly, a moan as his response and rocking forward again on Gabe’s fingers buried in him. Gabe pulled them out and slowly added a third. The stretch and burn feeling was stronger, but it was a good kind of pain, and Sam’s cock was leaving a puddle on his stomach, and was almost an angry red from being neglected. Sam started to reach for it and found his hand pinned to the bed by an invisible force. He looked at Gabe.

Gabriel looked him in the eye, “Is that okay with you?”

“God yes,” Sam responded, throwing his head back and thrusting down on Gabe’s hand. “Just fuck me already! I want you in- m-me, I want to feel you inside of me. Please.”

Gabe growled and pulled down the red boxers one handed and kicked them off the bed. He removed his hand slowly, leaving Sam gasping for it to be replaced, writhing and humping the air for Gabe to fill him up. He never wanted anything so bad. It was almost painful desire; he needed to be touched. 

Gabe slathered his cock with lube and added a little more to Sam’s stretched and pink hole, which was throbbing in time with Sam’s movements. Gabriel seemed to hesitate, and bent over, bringing his tongue to lick gently at Sam’s swollen rim. Sam gasped at the sensation, writhing as the angel pointed his tongue and pushed it into Sam’s tight little hole. He worked his tongue in and out, eliciting deep moans from the hunter. Sam relaxed further, and started to thrust back as Gabe licked and sucked at his rim. Gabriel sat up and gave a nod in apparent satisfaction at how pliant and debouched Sam looked already. He crawled forward on his knees while lightly stroking himself slowly, locking eyes with Sam as he positioned his cock, pressing it against his hot throbbing hole. It was almost too much for Sam, and he pushed down. Gabe didn’t let himself penetrate Sam, and he looked down at the man for his cue. Sam nodded, his mouth unable to come up with words. 

Gabriel pushed until the head of his cock breached the first ring of tight muscle. Sam groaned and threw his head back at the stretch this time. It was so much more than three fingers and he wanted it all. He canted his hips slightly, moaning Gabriel’s name. Gabe seemed to be holding back and Sam looked up and realized Gabe was trying hard not to come. He was panting and trying to get himself under control. It was so hot. Sam was patient and was thrilled that Gabe wanted to make sure Sam came too. 

When he was ready, Gabe pushed slowly in, not pausing until he was fully sheathed. Sam was mumbling and making noises to the top of Gabe’s head. He felt his hands release from the bed and he ran them through Gabriel’s hair. The feeling of being full was almost comforting, and Sam wondered why he had never let Gabe do this to him before. He felt whole, full, complete. 

Slowly, Gabe pulled out, almost to the tip, and slid back in. He built up a slow rhythm, moaning into Sam’s chest.

“Sam, Sam, so...tight, so hot, goddammit, so fucking good...you feel so good, so perfect and beautiful, so perfect for me,” he babbled as he slid in and out. Sam wrapped his legs around Gabe’s waist and pulled him in harder, encouraging a faster pace. Gabe looked up at Sam with a wicked smile and a spark in his eyes. 

Gabriel pounded into Sam, picking up the momentum, causing Sam to shout out at each thrust, making nonsensical sounds. Gabe lifted Sam’s legs onto his shoulders so he could fold him down and kiss him with hot desperate messy kisses. He thrust down again and again, and Sam was finally getting friction on his cock between their bodies. He resisted reaching for it again, and Gabe opened his eyes.

“Do you think you could come from just this?” Gabe asked, smirking.

Sam panted a yes, and then arched his back in pure pleasure as Gabe changed his angle and hit his prostate, then continued to brush against it on every other thrust. Sam realized he was still saying yes, over and over, but couldn’t seem to stop. His orgasm was building, and he could feel Gabe losing rhythm and knowing that meant he was ready to come too. 

Gabe placed his hand gently on Sam’s cheek amidst the hard thrusts and stared deep into his eyes. There was an echo in the room and Sam heard _I love you_ without seeing Gabe’s lips move. It hurtled Sam over the edge, and the world went white as his come spurted out in long streams on his chest. He felt the moment Gabe came inside him, felt his asshole clench around him in pulses as he came down. 

They were panting and blinking at one another, still locked together as tremors of aftershocks ran through them. Sam grabbed Gabe’s face and pulled him up his chest, causing his softening dick fall out of Sam. He kissed Gabriel with everything he had, pouring his passion, frustration, longing, hurt, joy, and love into him. 

Sam broke the kiss and looked into Gabe’s bewildered eyes.

“I love you too.” Sam said quietly.

Gabe froze, his eyes widening. “You do?” he asked, “I didn’t think you would after all-”

Sam cut him off with another kiss, this one more tender and soft. Gabe melted into him. He didn’t even lift his head as he snapped his fingers, cleaning up all the come in between them. Sam smiled into the kiss as he realized Gabe had left his come inside of him, like he was staking a claim. 

********

Sam paced the room, agitated. Gabriel perched on the table top again, watching him digest the information while sucking on a cherry lollipop. He hoped his obscene sucking and slurping would distract Sam from his frustration, but it didn’t appear to be working. 

Sam stopped, coming to stand in front of Gabe. He pulled the angel over to him until he was positioned between his knees.

“I don’t like it.” Sam said, voice low and forced.

“No one said you had to,” replied Gabriel, “but it will have to work for now.”

Sam glared into Gabe’s eyes, and Gabe simply popped his lolly in his mouth sucked it, then grinned. Sam’s mouth twitched as he hid a smile, determined to stay angry instead of sad. Gabe knew what Sam was feeling, so he was just fine letting him stomp around like an overgrown baby. 

“Aw, c'mon Sammy!” Gabe quipped, “absence makes the moose grow hornier!”

Sam rolled his eyes for the third time during the conversation. Gabe could see the exact moment when Sam surrendered. His shoulders sagged, he hung his head, and his mouth drooped. Gabe tossed the lollypop and reached up, pulling Sam down until their foreheads met. He ran his fingers through the shorter hairs on the back of Sam’s neck and let him breathe and collect himself. 

Sam finally raised his head to look Gabe in the eyes. 

“I guess I’ve waited this long,” he mumbled, “what’s another four years?”

“That’s the spirit, Sammy,” Gabe smiled softly, stroking the hair away from Sam’s face, “I looked ahead and know everything you’re going to have to do first, and I assure you, it needs your full attention.” Gabriel’s voice turned serious. “Hard times are coming, Sammy, and it’s going to be you that holds everyone together this time. Dean needs you to be his compass, Cas needs your friendship more than ever, and the whole freakin’ world needs that patented Sam Winchester stubborn compassion that you inflict on everyone. It won’t be easy, but you can do it.”

Sam was looking down, trying his best to hold back tears, clearing his throat and blushing hard. “I know it’s selfish, but I don’t want to save the world, I just want you.”

Gabe sighed and tipped Sam’s chin up. “But Sammy, the world needs you. Your family needs you. Believe me, I would love nothing more than to blow this popsicle stand and whisk you away to some pocket universe and hide out for eternity making you scream my name, but before we can do that, we each have shit to do.”

Sam nodded and smiled sadly, leaning in for one last sweet kiss. They lingered into it, touching lips and tongues gently, moving closer until they were flush against each other, Gabe still on the table with his legs wrapped around Sam. Gabe wanted to remember this forever. The way Sam tasted, the angle of his jaw when Gabe ran his thumb over it, the small noises he would make when a kiss would deepen. Sam pulled back first, to get a breath, and wound himself tighter around Gabe, holding him and breathing him in. 

“I love you,” Sam whispered into Gabe’s neck.

“I love you too, Sammy, always have, always will,” Gabe responded, holding him tighter. 

With a whine of protest from Sam, Gabe pulled back and gripped his shoulders. “You’ll be fine, Sammy,” he said smirking, “but if you wanted to, ya know, pray to me whenever you get a moment alone, I wouldn’t be mad at you for it.” He wiggled his eyes suggestively. 

Sam finally had to laugh. “Yeah, ok,” he said, “no problem. As longs as you’ll do something for me.” 

Gabe’s eyebrows shot up. This was getting interesting; if he didn’t hurry up and get out of there they would be back in bed. Again. Like the last three times he tried to leave that day.

Sam smirked. “If you’re ever in the neighborhood, or have the time, or whatever,” he said casually, “you could drop me off a new movie or something. I due for a new one. I mean, I must have watched that one 500 times. I need new material.”

Gabe’s mouth hung open, his eyes dilating. He was suddenly flooded with images of Sam jerking himself off in front of the computer screen, in every possible position, using toys like the ones Gabe used, and him coming all over his hand whimpering Gabriel’s name. Oh fuck it.

Gabe pulled Sam in for a filthy, hot, wet kiss and broke it off to whisper in Sam’s ear.

“You better just go ahead and bend me over and fuck me on this table right now,” he said, already posed to snap their clothing off them both.

Sam grinned.

********

Gabriel had finally left and Sam was utterly exhausted. He stumbled down the hallway and debated taking a shower before he collapsed into bed. He shrugged to himself, deciding to keep the smell of Gabriel on him for just a little longer. He shook off the creeping feelings that were returning now that the angel was gone. Sam knew it would work out somehow, and he trusted Gabe to get them there. 

He looked around his room. He hadn’t noticed before, but it looked like Gabriel had done a little cleaning. Sam smiled at the idea that Gabriel, Archangel of the Motherfuckin Lord had washed and folded his underwear. He surveyed the room and something caught his eye. 

His dad’s old Marine foot locker was peeking out from under his bed. He scooted it with his toe back under, then changed his mind and pulled it out. He was pretty sure Gabe had rummaged around in it, he would expect no less from him. 

The photos were moved, the few items of clothing were unfolded- it was pretty obvious that the angel went looking through it. He lifted a stack of some papers and found the little ceramic box. He smiled softly, knowing Gabe must have seen the candy wrappers. He picked up the little box and sat back on the floor, admiring the details in the design. He had always loved that little box, and it was one of the most precious things he owned. He lifted the lid to look at the wrappers.

He gasped, frozen, staring down at the feather Gabriel left him, and understood why Gabe had his wings out. He touched the golden feather gently, and couldn’t stop the tears this time. It was promise. And he would hold that little fucker to it. 

********  
End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue- sexytimes. 
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, and I'm sure Sam breaks his arm again between the time at the end of this and when he finds Dean or whatever. Because Sam breaks that arm a lot. I basically don't care if cannon lines up properly, I'm exhausted. : )


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here's a bonus fo' yo' ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *giggles gleefully at the sexytimes*
> 
>  
> 
> sorry not sorry

_Gabriel, are you listening? I hope so._

_I miss you so much, and I love you. When things start getting more difficult, and I’m sure i won’t be able to get through it, I remember what you told me and I stay strong, for you. Don’t forget what you promised me._

_Aaaaanyway… I found the package you left for me yesterday. I have to say it is definitely 10 times hotter than the last one- when you fuck yourself in the shower with the...well you know. I’ve watched it five times already, and I’m about to watch it again. You want me to pray while I watch it? Because I will. I can imagine all the filthy things you will do to yourself while you’re hearing me right now. Get somewhere alone- I don’t want you to share this with anyone._

_Ahhh, I’m skipping to the part where you are in the kitchen, and you’re digging in the vegetable drawer… oh my god, the size of that cucumber- I can’t believe you can stuff it into your- oh god…_  
I’m stroking myself right now, watching you on the screen, you’re on your back now with your knees up to your chest, on the counter- I can see your throbbing and needy hole gaping, so ready, ungh...I have to get-   
I got a toy after you left so I can fuck myself while watching you...ungh, ughn, I’m so fucking hard right now… you’re pushing the cucumber so deep- ugnh, I might have to press pause before I come all over myself...okay, I’m ready now, I’ve held off...I wish you could see yourself, paused on the screen- your head thrown back, so fucking delicious, the cucumber so deep… I hit play again, I had to be calmed down for this part...you have the squash- oh my god a butternut squash- it’s so fucking big- and here you are, lowering yourself onto it- holy fucking fuck, Gabe, how can you even- ungh, ungh, I’m going to- okay stop again, calming myself again, I want you to hear me come, calling your name, oh god, I’m so close right now… holding off...you’re pushing down and you’re stretching- oh fuck- so fucking hot, oh my fuck- your cock is leaking everywhere- I’m fucking myself on this dildo I have it suctioned cupped to the headboard and I’m fucking myself back on it so fucking hard- oh my god- now you’re doing the thing where you- oh fucking fuck- you bend yourself in half- ungh, ungh- and take your big hard cock in your mouth- how the fuck are you even doing- oh my fucking god- you’re sucking yourself so hard- I’m going to come, I swear that is the hottest fucking thing- your nose is touching your balls now- fuck I’m coming- you’re coming on your own face- fuck- ungh, ungh- unghAAAAAAAHHHHHH, GABRIEL!  
...  
Gabriel- I...Oh fuck...I fucking want you so bad, I swear I need you under me, I need to feel your fingers inside me, I need you to fuck into me so bad… 

_It’s okay, I’ll be okay, but I miss you. I love you, and always will. If I survive all this madness, you come get me. If I don’t, you come get me. Wherever I am._

_Amen_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'kay love you bye


End file.
